Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.




  • Behavioral Therapist
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Thursday, October 23, 2008  
Election Overdose
I know this blog has been overrun by political coverage in the last few weeks, but it will be over soon, hopefully, and with a positive outcome, for a change. If my faithful readers didn't sense my anxiety and frustration during my debate live blogs, maybe Larry David can convey what I've been feeling since 2004.

Waiting for Nov. 4th

by Larry David

I can't take much more of this. Two weeks to go, and I'm at the end of my rope. I can't work. I can eat, but mostly standing up. I'm anxious all the time and taking it out on my ex-wife, which, ironically, I'm finding enjoyable. This is like waiting for the results of a biopsy. Actually, it's worse. Biopsies only take a few days, maybe a week at the most, and if the biopsy comes back positive, there's still a potential cure. With this, there's no cure. The result is final. Like death.

Five times a day I'll still say to someone, "I don't know what I'm going to do if McCain wins." Of course, the reality is I'm probably not going to do anything. What can I do? I'm not going to kill myself. If I didn't kill myself when I became impotent for two months in 1979, I'm certainly not going to do it if McCain and Palin are elected, even if it's by nefarious means. If Obama loses, it would be easier to live with it if it's due to racism rather than if it's stolen. If it's racism, I can say, "Okay, we lost, but at least it's a democracy. Sure, it's a democracy inhabited by a majority of disgusting, reprehensible turds, but at least it's a democracy." If he loses because it's stolen, that will be much worse. Call me crazy, but I'd rather live in a democratic racist country than a non-democratic non-racist one. (It's not exactly a Hobson's choice, but it's close, and I think Hobson would compliment me on how close I've actually come to giving him no choice. He'd love that!)

The one concession I've made to maintain some form of sanity is that I've taken to censoring my news, just like the old Soviet Union. The citizenry (me) only gets to read and listen to what I deem appropriate for its health and well-being. Sure, there are times when the system breaks down. Michele Bachmann got through my radar this week, right before bedtime. That's not supposed to happen. That was a lapse in security, and I've had to make some adjustments. The debates were particularly challenging for me to monitor. First I tried running in and out of the room so I would only hear my guy. This worked until I knocked over a tray of hors d'oeuvres. "Sit down or get out!" my host demanded. "Okay," I said, and took a seat, but I was more fidgety than a ten-year-old at temple. I just couldn't watch without saying anything, and my running commentary, which mostly consisted of "Shut up, you prick!" or "You're a fucking liar!!!" or "Go to hell, you cocksucker!" was way too distracting for the attendees, and finally I was asked to leave.

Assuming November 4th ever comes, my big decision won't be where I'll be watching the returns, but if I'll be watching. I believe I have big jinx potential and may have actually cost the Dems the last two elections. I know I've jinxed sporting events. When my teams are losing and I want them to make a comeback, all I have to do is leave the room. Works every time. So if I do watch, I'll do it alone. I can't subject other people to me in my current condition. I just don't like what I've turned into -- and frankly I wasn't that crazy about me even before the turn. This election is having the same effect on me as marijuana. All of my worst qualities have been exacerbated. I'm paranoid, obsessive, nervous, and totally mental. It's one long, intense, bad trip. I need to come down. Soon.

I can't take much more of this. I have MSNBC on in the background whenever I'm in my room. Keith Olbermann bellowing, Chris Matthews grilling anyone and everyone and Rachel Maddow looking all cute and sassy with her short hair doo have become my must see TV...and I can't take it anymore. Obama. Biden. My friends. Finish this please. McCain. Palin. Go away. I need to get some sleep.

11:26 AM
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Wednesday, October 15, 2008  
FINISH HIM!: Final Presidential Debate Live Blog
11:36 - A late night addition: Joe the Plumber's full name is not Joe Werzelberger as John McCain seems to think. It is in fact Joe Wurzelbacher. I changed my mind. Due to sheer humiliation caused to Joe the Plumber, I hereby deem the winner of the debate: Joe Six-Pack.

10:45 - Winner of the Final Presidential Debate: Joe the Plumber

10:43 - Final "Joe the Plumber" Count - 25

10:29 - I would love to give you the extraordinary opportunity, Obama. I'm mailing my ballot out tomorrow.

10:28 - "There's a long line of McCains." And he's the shortest.

10:27 - I'm not your friend, John McCain. I don't even think Joe the Plumber is.

10:26 - I think McCain's teeth have gotten worse throughout the campaign judging by how gangly his creepy smile looks tonight.

10:25 - McCain doesn't know what Autism is. He'll say Autism a million times, but he doesn't know what it is.

10:24 - Obama even looks presidential when he's no speaking. McCain looks presidential never.

10:22 - "I don't think America's youth is an interest group. I think they're our future." Sing it, brother.

10:21 - "Unfortunately, they left the money behind [for No Child Left Behind]." Zing!

10:20 - "Find bad teachers another line of work." I would've thought that was a great idea...if I was in the 3rd grade!

10:19 - McCain's flat-lining on the uncommitted voters graph again.

10:18 - Huge applause from the room when Obama reminded us about how much debt from college we have. Then we all cried.

10:17 - "An army of new teachers." Armed with rulers and an ammo stash of chalk.

10:14 - I think McCain just got an old man hard-on when Obama said "cavalier [sexual] activities."

10:11 - "We've gotta change the culture of America." Yes, by not electing Bush 3.0.

10:08 - "I wouldn't apply any litmus test [to assigning Supreme Court judges.] Except, Senator McCain, you just described an ideology that you would use which by definition is, surprise, a litmus test!

10:06 - From the room: "I don't think McCain knows what a federalist is."

10:05 - I personally don't trust Joe to take care of himself.

10:04 - Does McCain know something I don't know about transplants? Last time I checked there were no bionic people yet. Transplants are pretty much for people who would die without them.

10:03 - What would McCain do if Joe wasn't around? Who would he talk to? Himself? That one?

10:02 - Obama's on the Joe bandwagon.

10:01 - "The fine will be ZERO!" McCain's face is priceless. The look of utter shock and dismay. He just crapped his Depends.

10:00 - Joe the Plumber gets another shout-out. Am I hallucinating or something?

9:58 - I don't see how anyone, Democrat, Republican or otherwise, can dispute the superiority of Obama's Healthcare plan.

9:53 - "Maybe you outta travel down there [to Colombia]." Obama's actually busy whooping your wrinkled butt to have a South American vaycay.

9:51 - "We need to drill here and drill now." Mad Max territory, here we come.

9:50 - From the Indecision 2008 Blog - "How can you say that Obama's laugh makes him seem smug? Have you seen the dusty orgasm that McCain has every time he thinks that he gets in a zinger?"

9:49 - When Obama talks directly into the camera, I blush a little.

9:47 - "Canadian oil is fine." That's racist.

9:46 - "If we have an across the board spending freeze we're not going to be able to [fund special-needs children." McCain's embarassed grin resurfaces.

9:45 - "She understands special-needs kids." Why? Because she has a baby with down syndrome that she's currently neglecting.

9:44 - "Breast of fresh air." No. Comment.

9:43 - "Sarah Palin is a woman." She's a reformer because she has a vagina instead of a penis. Genital reformation!

9:42 - "Why would your running mate be better than your opponent's as president?" A pool of sweat forms around McCain's chair.

9:40 - "My campaign is about getting the American people back on track." HUGE laugh in the room. Why? BECAUSE MCCAIN KEEPS TALKING ABOUT ACORN AND AYERS!

9:39 - "It says more about your campaign, than it does about me." Burn!

9:38 - Obama just disspelled, without a sliver of a doubt, the ridiculous allegations regarding Ayers and ACORN. How long till the McCain campaign finds some other random thing to shape their attack ads on?

9:36 - An organization named ACORN is threatening to destroy the fabrics of democracy. As opposed to what happened in the 2000 election?

9:35 - Some people at Obama's rallies wore naughty t-shirts. That hurt McCain's feelings too!

9:34 - "We're proud of the people at our rally." Oh good. In response to Obama bringing up the outlandish, racist remarks from his rallies, he's proud of them.

9:32 - If this were an intervention for Autistic children, we would place McCain on extinction for interrupting so much. It's attention-seeking behavior.

9:31 - "Joe the Plumber" Count - 18

He probably realized Joe Six-Pack wasn't flying.

9:30 - "I watched the Arizonal Cardinals defeat the Dallas Cowboys." Shouldn't you be busy trying not to lose? Oh wait...no keep watching football...it's fine.

9:27 - Obama hasn't done townhall meetings with McCain, hence, McCain must accuse Obama of palling around with terrorists.

9:26 - "That to me was so hurtful." Aw, poor McCain got his feelings hurt.

9:25 - "Are you willing to say these things to each other's faces?" Bob Shieffer wants a fight!

9:23 - "I've got the scars to prove it." McCain, we get it. You're old. You've cut yourself several times by now.

9:22 - "Even Fox News disputes it!" Big laugh all around. Sean Hannity just crapped his pants.

9:20 - "Senator Obama, I'm not President Bush. If you wanted to run against President Bush, you should've run 4 years ago." Or he could've run against him 8 years ago....you know back when McCain lost in the primaries.

From the Indecision 2008 Blog: How long do you think he rehearsed that line in the bathroom mirror?

9:19 - Yay the overheard projector made a second appearance. By the way, 3 million dollars sounds like a lot of money but in terms of government spending, it's chump change.

9:18 - "I'm gonna get out a scalpel." I don't have anything to say. I just thought that was weird.

9:17 - Bob Shieffer made McCain stutter like Porky Pig!

9:13 - McCain's new tax policy: Be like Ireland!

9:12 - "Joe the Plumber" Count - 17

Joe's business should get a spike out of the first 12 minutes of this debate.

9:11 - This is now minute 4 that we're talking about Joe the Plumber. Could anyone have predicted what the first part of the debate would be about?

9:09 - "Joe, I wanna tell ya..." I don't think Joe's watching, John. He's busy working the night shift.

9:08 - Obama knows a plumber named Joe Werzelberger! Way to stay on the issues, John.

9:07 - "Senator McCain, I agree..." No Obama! No!

9:06 - "Middle-class" by Obama Count - 1, McCain - 0

9:03 - "It's good to see you....Senator Obama." He struggled, but he remembered his name!

McCain mentioned Nancy Reagan in the hospital, but not Dick Cheney....curious.

9:02 - Candidates just shook hands. McCain's arms still creep me out.

8:53 - Teachers College is predominantly female, and if one didn't know this offhand, you could come to this conclusion on your own just by entering the debate party lounge....Project Runway is on the TV with a circle of enraptured females analyzing bridesmaid dresses.

All the pundits are saying it's over unless Obama really screws up or McCain really hits it out of the park. Since the last two presidential debates, as well as the vice presidential debates, have been overwhelmingly deemed to be wins by Obama, I'm pretty optimistic tonight. The format is also with the two candidates and moderator at a round table so if McCain decides to get nasty and bring lame topics such as Bill Ayers and Jeremiah Wright, it would be kind of awkward seeing as they're basically sitting next to each other. This also doesn't allow McCain to lurch around the stage like an old man who has lost his puppy.

8:48 PM
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FINISH HIM!: Final Presidential Debate Live Blog Tonight!
The time has come. The final chance for McCain to prove to America that Obama is the best presidential candidate. His last chance to look like a grumpy old man in front of the people. I take Cheney being in the hospital this morning as a good omen. Before you look down on me for rejoicing over an evil old man being in the hospital...don't be. Cheney can't die. The chalice of infant blood he drinks every night rejuvenates him.

Obama is up 14 points on McCain today in the polls. Can McCain really make up that much ground on Obama? How many times will McCain say "holocaust"? How many times will Obama say "look...y'know"? Will the moderator, Bob Shieffer, actually moderate? Will McCain remember Obama's name this time? Will Obama ascend bodily into heaven? Will Sarah Palin shoot someone from a helicopter? Will McCain call Obama the N-word?

The final debate airs tonight, 9pm EST/6 pm PST, on many channels.

11:20 AM
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Tuesday, October 07, 2008  
Take It to the People: Second Presidential Debate Live Blog
10:45 - Obama is still signing autographs.

10:41 - Rachel Maddow on MSNBC describes it perfectly that McCain kept attacking and swinging and missing while Obama was very cool and composed.

10:40- Both Michelle and Barack Obama seem to be talking to everyone in the room a nd are signing autographs. I think Cindy and Johnny Boy have left the room. I guess they must really care about those undecided voters.

10:38 - As the candidates go around the room shaking people's hands and McCain deliberately avoids shaking Barack's hands, I'm relieved that they didn't bring up the stupid points brought up in the last few days about Obama being linked to a terrorist and McCain being linked to a corruption scandal. I'm even more relieved that Obama fought back. McCain looked even more like a crotchedy old man tonight and, I think, really demonstrated how out of touch he is with the American people, especially regarding healthcare.

10:35 - Cindy McCain looks like the android from I, Robot

10:34 - Obama and McCain just stood next to each other as if they liked each other. That was weird. McCain just ran away. He hates Obama again. The world can rest easy.

10:32 - "I don't know what everyone doesn't know." So you don't know why you've become such a douche either?

10:30 - Aww Obama loves his wife...and thinks shes smarter than him....President Michelle Obama 2012 anyone?

10:27 - Iran isn't going to attack anyone. They're busy having kabob and chai. Stop talking about them.

And that ridiculous holocaust line again!

10:25 - McCain just patted an audience member on the back. McCain's creep-o-meter just skyrocketed.

10:23 - "We have to prevent Russia from making mischief around the world." Obama thinks Russia is the Dennis the Menace of the earth. Is America Dennis' old crotchety neighbor George? Oh wait, that would be McCain.

10:21 - I'm an unabated Obama supporter but that McCain response about Russia was pretty good. And guess what? He didn't attack Obama and it worked for him. Let's hope he doesn't realize this and keeps digging himself deeper.

10:18 - "Some of which Obama is correct on." Yay! McCain agrees with Obama!

10:16 - "I know how to get Bin Laden." Again, really? You do? Can you please share it with everyone?

10:14 - "This is the person who said 'Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran' and wants to annihalate North Korea." McCain looked visibly embarassed after that line.

10:12 - McCain...my friend...Newsflash: Voters don't like it when you conjure up strange, poorly conceived attacks on Obama when you're answering people's questions. I thought you loved the townhall format like your wife loves Botox.

10:10 - Ok I love Obama but he says Pakistan weird-like. "Pok-ih-stahn"

10:08 - America's Most Valuable Asset According to McCain - BLOOD!

And there's that obnoxious holocaust line again. SENATOR CREEPER! NO ONE WANTS A HOLOCAUST! EVER! SHUTUP ABOUT IT!

10:07 - Reagan Reference Count - 2

10:06 - "If we had pulled out of Iraq 3 years ago Al Qaeda would have established a base." And the difference between that hypothetical base and the base that's there now?

"My friends" Count - 12

10:03 - Barack is absolutely right. The diminished respect for the United States around the world has constrained its abilities. Beautifully said.

10:01 - Obama's getting back at McCain for telling him he doesn't understand! McLame is wrong about everything! I love it!

10:00 - "America is the greatest force for good in the history of the world." That's kind of hard to prove. America is like 300 years old and the world is like 5000 years old.

9:59 - "Before we move on, did we hear the size of the fine?" WOW! You know a joke goes over well when it's followed by DEAD SILENCE!

9:55 - McCain just described Obama's healthcare plan and then attributed it to himself.

9:53 - "$5000...you can go across state lines. Don't you go to other places to purchase things?" Oh so you do think healthcare is a commodity, Saruman?

"My friends" Count - 11

9:51 - "No one will be excluded for pre-existing conditions." Enormous sighs of relief everywhere. I love you Barack.

9:48 - "You know who voted for that bill? That one. (points to Obama)" Oh so Barack ain't got no
name no moh. Racist crackah.

9:47 - "You know there are red and green and yellow lights all around the stage to let you know
when you're done." You're so cute, Tom Brokaw.

9:44 - The best way to help climate change and environmental concerns is nuclear power? Chernobyl anyone?

9:42 - "Social Security is easy to fix, my friends." Oh really? Do tell, Old Man River.

9:38 - "The Straight Talk Express lost a wheel on that one." Oh snap!

9:36 - McCain is talking about tax cuts like he's on the Home Shopping Network, arm jive and all.

9:34 - "The consumers are drunk." Brokaw apparently thinks this country needs to go into AA.

9:31 - Uh oh...Obama...don't take the Giuliani "say 9/11 whenever you can" strategy...please.

9:30 - McCain's new thing is this damn overhead projector. Powerpoint for everyone!

9:27 - Best Obama strategy to win over undecided voters: America rules!

9:25 - McCain is exerting himself too much, walkin' all over the stage like that.

9:22 - "Including a 3 million dollar proposal for a overheard projector for a planetarium in Chicago." There goes the astronomers vote.

9:21 - Working with Senator Lieberman does not qualify as bipartisan, Johnny boy.

9:20 - I'm taking bets as to when McCain is gonna start winking.

9:18 - Whoah! McCain pointed his finger at Obama and called him his friend...then said some weird fuck you about some letter.

9:17 - Look at the women line and the Genderometer on CNN spike when Obama speaks...and McCain just started talking...and the lines crash.

9:15 - "Fannie and Freddie this, Fannie and Freddie that." Someone get new names for these organizations.

9:12 - "Obama and his cronies." Mee-ooww.

9:09 - Goal of Success for McCain: Insult Tom Brokaw

9:08 - Is there a reason McCain won't stop blinking? Is that his tell?

9:06 - "Barack, thanks for joining me at this townhall." McCain is already being passive-aggressive.

9:05 - Barack's keyword tonight: Middle-Class

9:04 - Belmont University - Go (Other) Bruins!

9:03 - From The Huffington Post - "The candidates will have demarcated areas of the stage that they may walk around in. Each candidate has had their territory marked by urinating wolves, who were later shot by Sarah Palin, with helicopters."

Just made it! Without delay let's get started.

9:04 PM
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Take It to the People: Second Presidential Debate Live Blog Tonight!
Due to the enormous positive reception of my previous Live Blog covering the vice presidential debate (crickets), I've decided to hold another Live Blog during tonight's presidential debate. The debate will not be like the last two because it will be in a "town hall" format meaning the questions will come directly from the people and not from a moderator. Will either candidate actually answer the questions posed to them? Who will stick to their talking points? Will McCain continue asserting that Obama was associated with a terrorist when he was 8 years old (and McCain was 42)? Will Obama's glowing smile melt the hearts of females in the audience? Will Obama dunk on McCain? Will McCain fall asleep? All this, and more, tonight.

The debate airs at 9pm EST/ 6pm PST everywhere.

Note: I do have class until 9pm but I will try to escape in time to cover the debate in its entirety.

3:35 PM
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Saturday, October 04, 2008  
T-Minus 30 Days and Counting
It's election day in a month. In every single election I have voted in since I turned 18, the candidate I have voted for has lost in that race, from the California Recall Election (stupid Cruz Bustamante) to the 2004 Presidential Election (Wesley Clark anyone?) to the 2008 Presidential Primaries (Hillary won California). I expect to break that trend on November 4th. Oh and I don't want Obama to squeak by McCain like Bush did to Gore and Kerry. I want it to be an outright shutout. Double... nay... triple digit victory over the Ghost of Christmas Past/Stewardess ticket. Change is not just some empty tag line. I firmly believe that if McCain wins, this country will enter a very dark and sad time. With Obama, the world will regain the respect that this country's voters and government once deserved.

Ok, it's time to get off my soapbox and present you with the beautiful numbers.



12:00 PM
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Friday, October 03, 2008  
Sarah Barracuda, Meet Joe the Shark: Vice Presidential Debate Live Blog
10:35 -It's finally over. As people disappear into the night, groaning about Palin's hammed up coloquialisms and Biden's exasperation, I cannot help but wonder, without jinxing anything, how in the hell McCain can possibly win with this disastrous ticket. If the guy croaks, and Palin becomes president, it's over. The world, I mean.

10:33 - Oh snap, Biden's ready, Obama's ready, they're all ready!. And Joe got a couple nods for God and the troops! Nice!

10:31 - Yay for her closing statement, a Reagan quote. Palin sure can memorize.

10:30 - Palin missed a huge opportunity to say Joe Six Pack again.

10:29 - Comment from the room -"Please wink, please!"

10:29 - "We've got a diverse family." You mean in fucked up names for your kids?

10:28 - "Up there in Alaska." Right by Jesus, dontcha know.

10:26 - Correction...Revelation of the Night: "John McCain...Maverick he is not!" Tear of joy.

10:25 -"Let's talk about John McCain being a maverick." I have a man-crush on Joe Biden.

10:23 - "He's the man that we need to leave." First true statement she's made all night.

10:22 - Palin's response to Biden talking about his personal tragedy? "Me and John McCain are mavericks."

"Maverick" Count - 7

10:21 - Biden's crying and standing up for the single dad! IT'S OVER. TKO!

10:19 - Palin's Achilles Heel in her own words? Being a mom and a business owner.

10:18 - "Dick Cheney is the most dangerous vice president ever." In your face Apocalypse harbinger!

10:17 - Oh shit, Palin agrees with Cheney. It's over folks. Apocalypse? Come on in.

10:16 - Revelation of the night: Biden and Palin are lame comedians

"With ya" Count - 1

10:15 - The GOP party looks like they're at a wake.

10:14 - Did Palin just say she was happy Biden's wife was dead?

10:13 - "Say it ain't so, Joe." She's been saving that line all night.

10:11 - Silly Palin, Wasilla doesn't have streets.

10:10 - Is "liberative" a word?

10:09 - "Maverick" Count - 3

10:08 - Time to think on your feet Palin. Biden mentioned the Bush Doctrine! Did you read the Cliff Notes?

10:07 - "John McCain knows what evil is." Well he has been in the same room as Cheney, Rumsefeld and Rice, after all.

10:06 - What's worse than being compared to George Bush? Being compared to Dick Cheney.

10:03 - "She's a Bosniac, Bosniac on the floor!"

10:01 - An exasperated sigh from Biden. Love it.

"Let me say that again!" Count - 4

9:59 - Joe's gonna snap. "Let me say this again!"

9:59 -"Can we talk about Afghanistan again too please?" She remembered another flashcard she hadn't read yet.

"New-cular" Count - 10

9:57 - "George Bush(s)" Count - 57

9:55 - Palin and Biden heart Israel. God love em...the Jews I mean. Is this a debate or J Date?

9:54 - Biden's referring to himself in the 3rd person.

9:53 - There's the second holocaust line again!

9:51 - "They hate us for our freedom!" Palin = Bush 2.0

9:49 - Mario Bros biggest rivals? The Castro Bros.

"New-cular" count - 6

9:48 - "New-cular" count - 4

9:47 - Palin agrees with the leader of Al Quaeda? Headline tomorrow?

9:46 - Here we go with Iran...Persians are too lazy to become hostile. I can say it cause I am Persian.

9:45 - "John McCain hasn't read the 700 year history between Shiites and Sunnis." And he was alive then! (Lame joke, I know)

9:42 - Awkward silence...then bogus line about waving a white flag. Ok Dido, what does winning really mean by your definition?

9:38 - Sarah Palin has one gay friend!!

9:37 - She tolerates the gays...until they encroach on Sarah and Todd's darlin' marriage.

9:34 - I just figured out why the hell McCain picked Palin. "Drill, baby. Drill."

9:32 - Cause of global warming? God has a fever, dontcha know. Aw heck, when he sneezes we get a gosh darn hurricane.

9:30 - Look at the sharp decline in the CNN Genderometer by both males and females right when Palin starts talking.

9:28 - "The credit market is a toxic mess." McCain's solution? Depends.

9:25 - "The only thing I can promise is to do the best for the American people." What a maverick!

9:24 - Palin is the Dirty Harry of Juneau, Alaska. This town ain't big enough for the two of us, dontcha know?

9:22 - Joe mispronounced "characterized." McCain mispronounced "Ahmadinejad." Which is worse?

9:21 - Huge applause for the bridge to nowhere line. Sic em Joe!

9:20 - Can Palin stop staring at the camera? It's creeping me, and everyone in this room at Columbia, out.

9:19 - Universal Healthcare...The horror! The horror!

9:14 - Palin memorized her flashcards. Joe the Shark caught her.

9:12 - "Joe Six-Pack" Count - 1

9:10 - You go Gwen Ifil! Neither of em answered the question.

9:09 - That Palin wink made me gag. "Maverick" Count - 1

9:07 - Main source of economic advice to the McCain/Palin campaign: Soccer Moms

9:02 - The candidates shake hands. Joe looks like he's drooling.

8:55 - Wolf Blitzer is explaining the revolutionary system that was employed during the last debate to gauge people's opinions while they were watching. Kind of disturbing how closely the opinion lines resembled a flatline.

8:50 - I'm at the viewing party at the New Res Lounge at Teachers College, Columbia University. Let the bloodbath begin!

12:43 AM
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Thursday, October 02, 2008  
Sarah Barracuda, Meet Joe the Shark: Vice Presidential Debate Live Blog Tonight!
If anyone has spoken to me in the last year, they know that politics is constantly on my brain and pretty much everyone else in the country. For those interested, I will be conducting the first ever Jazzy Bahsoun Live Blog tonight during the Vice Presidential Debate.

During the last presidential debate, the most groundbreaking statements made were that McCain was against a second holocaust (what a maverick!) and Obama is for nuclear waste. What will come out tonight? How many times will Sarah Palin say the word "maverick"? How many times will Obama's policies be misrepresented by the McFailin campaign? Will Sarah Palin dodge as many questions as Neo did in The Matrix? Seriously, how far is Moscow from Juneau*? Is someone who was raised by a single mother on welfare really an "elitist"? Will Tina Fey stand in for Sarah Palin? Will Joe Biden eat Sarah Palin?

The debate starts at 9pm EST/6pm PST and can be seen everywhere.

*Approximately 4500 miles

7:24 PM
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