Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.

  • Behavioral Therapist
  • MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
  • BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA

  • Movies to See:
    Mission Impossible
    A Dangerous Method

  • TV Shows to Watch:
    The Life & Times of Tim

  • Book to Read:
    Game of Thrones
    by George R.R. Martin

  • Album to Listen to:
    The Black Keys
    El Camino

  • Person to Hate:
    Newt Gingrich

  • Group of People to Despise:
    Fox & Friends


Bitchin Links

Blogs and Writers of Note

Mary's Website

Mary's Blog

Ravi's Blog

Lauren's Blog

Cheryl's LiveJournal

TV Squad

The Soup


Best Week Ever

The Chive

On Location Vacations

Cute Overload

Michael Moore's Blog

Joel Stein Columns

Maureen Dowd Columns

Secular Coalition of America

Richard Dawkins

Personal Stuff

My Facebook

My Twitter

My YouTube Videos

My DVD Collection

My Books

Machatz Self-Defense

For Politics and Political Satire

The Huffington Post


The Daily Beast

The Onion

The Colbert Nation


The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

For Entertainment

Ain't It Cool News


Rotten Tomatoes

DVD Active

Movie Stinger


The Daily Wav

Movie Mistakes

For Humor and Other Things

HuffPost Comedy

Funny or Die

The Lonely Island

Shit My Dad Says

F My Life

Daily Python

College Humor

Super Mario Crossover

People of Walmart

E-Mails from an Asshole

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

God Checker

Church Sign Maker

Strong Bad Email

Japander: See Actors Embarrass Themselves Abroad

Landover Baptist Church: Jesus Loves You Sometimes

For Bruins

The Daily Bruin

Bruins Nation

Bruin Basketball Report

UCLA Bruin Marching Band: The Solid Gold Sound

The REAL $UC Application

Old Stuff

March 2003

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Monday, April 28, 2003  
Shrimp's Good Eatin'

"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it." - Bubba

-Ilana kinda helped with this post

7:56 PM


Friday, April 25, 2003  

I'm an Atheist!

Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You?

Take More of Robert & Tim's Quizzes
Watch Robert & Tim's Cartoons

7:53 PM


Thursday, April 24, 2003  

Which X-Men Character Are You??
brought to you by Quizilla

1:46 AM


Wednesday, April 23, 2003  

Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?

What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

8:17 PM


Sunday, April 20, 2003  

Colin Mochrie

Which 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' actor are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla

5:54 PM


Saturday, April 19, 2003  
And for the sake of it, here's a final tally of college acceptances/rejections:
UCLA: Accepted HA
Berkeley: Admission Denied
UC San Diego: Yes'm
UC Santa Barbara: Yep
UC Irvine: Screw you, no
UC Davis: Cowtown yes
UC Santa Cruz: Accept
UC Riverside: Yes with money
USC: Yes...well kinda
Occidental: Yays
Emory: The hicks accept
Northwestern: Nah
Johns Hopkins: No...oh ok
George Washington: Yee haw
Vassar: sad

3:29 AM


DR VU TI TRAN IN YOH FACE! That's right! Yours truly is now a Bruin. My audition appeal went through and I am in my brothers. The stress is relieved. Limited moving out, provided that I go to dorms. No public bathrooms! Gotta pee drive on home. Oh a lady wants to come in, no need to see if momma's home, just hop on over to the dorm. haHA. Anyway, that's all for now. Praise Mr. Farmer, praise director of UCLA band Gordon Henderson. And to all a good night....
3:21 AM


Friday, April 18, 2003  

You are Psychic!

What's Your Magic Power?
brought to you by Quizilla

Amateur movie! You might not be too experienced in
the way of sex...but chances are, you do enjoy
it (or the thought of it). We'll probably see
you in some home video that surfaces on the
internet one day.

What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla

2:39 PM


A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to
entertain at a bar in a small town.
He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes,
when a large, blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her
chair and says, "I've heard just about enough of your
denigrating blonde jokes! What makes you think you can
stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical
attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?"
The ventriloquist looks on in amazement. "It's guys like
you who keep women like me from being respected at work
and in my community," she continued, "and of reaching my
full potential as a person because you and your kind
continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only
blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize. The
blonde interjects, "You stay out of this, mister, I'm
talking to that little bastard on your knee!"

2:11 PM


Man, these dentists. I mean, my dentist is nice but he's kinda freaky. You know how you're supposed to go to the dentist every 6 months? Well, I hadn't been there in 8 months. Oh no! The horror! Anyway, now that I have a little free time, I get an appointment with him. It takes half an hour to drive to this place. Why we don't get a dentist close by, I don't know. So I arrive in the vicinity of the building and I have to park on side streets. So I'm driving along, barely any spaces, I spot a space, in between two cars. Dammit! I can't parallel park! So, I decide to attempt to parallel park. Fifteen minutes later im perpendicular to the curb and pissed. I finally give up and find a space on the next block, not in between two cars. I still end up 9 feet from the curb. Whatever! Anyway, I trudge up to the 7th floor of the building. Waiting rooms....I hate waiting rooms. There is never any worthwhile reading material, unless you count "Highlights" magazines from ten years ago. In this particular waiting room, there was a picture of Marilyn Monroe for God knows why and a picture of the Beatles autographed. You know that it's a knockoff from some flea market in Cleveland that he got on a road trip over spring break of dental school 25 years ago ...Yeah...yeah...So, it's my turn finally. Goody! A guy hovering over me sticking things in my mouth. So I sit down in this awkward chair that moves by itself. That alone scares me. The guy comes in. "Hi, how are you? How's your mom? Small talk small talk small talk." "Yeah fine fine. Good yes thanks." And out comes the tiny mirror and the hook. I hate the hook. It latches on to your teeth and the dentist tugs. Why? What is the purpose of yanking on my teeth? They're in there, would you like them to come out cause I don't. "So where are you going to college? Tug Tug." "Mmafph. Mmafha." How the hell am I supposed to answer him? Tapping on the chair in morse code? "Mmmph. Mmamph" "Turn towards me. Open. Grreat. Tug Tug."
This guy's hands are in my mouth and he's talking to me. Should I look right at him? Should I look at the ceiling? Should I look down as to appear like I'm trying to see what's going on in my mouth? I chose alternating between the ceiling and his forehead. Ceiling. Forehead. Ceiling. Forehead. Weird spot on his forehead. What the hell is that? Is that a pimple? It looks a fly, but in his head. Weird. Ceiling. "Ok. Maria is going to polish your teeth now." "Ok. So no cavities?" "No, I don't think so." Gee that's great. Monsieur Dentiste isn't sure. Oh great, Maria arrives. "Chhallo. I polish teeth now." Oh crap, she doesn't speak English. Well, she must know how to clean teeth right? You would think so. You know those things that spin and polish your teeth while spreading that nasty tasting powder around? Yeah, she couldn't figure out how it worked. Buzz Buzz Buzz. Enter mouth. No more buzzing. Exit mouth. Buzz Buzz. Green powder everywhere! By the end of this mayhem my face was covered with this green mint powder and a gross taste in my mouth. "The water for you?" Yeah thanks, Maria. Ok I'm done with that insanity so I bolt. Oh great, a free toothbrush and toothpaste. Thank you so much. That was so enjoyable. Could I please have an enema too? "See you in six months." Like hell you will, like hell.

3:48 AM



3:11 AM


Tuesday, April 15, 2003  
El Quiz cause on el me...just because.

11:05 PM


Monday, April 14, 2003  
sex appeal

(results contain pictures) What kind of ANIME BOOBS do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

12:01 AM


Saturday, April 12, 2003  
Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road?

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

To die. In the rain. Alone.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads. Without having their motives called into question.

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

It was an historical inevitability.

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

What chicken?

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

I missed one?

3:28 AM


Youre the baby of the drugs,
and thats okay,
because Im sure,
I could do you all day.

Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

2:09 AM


"I am the dragon and you call me insane. You are privy to a great becoming but you recognize nothing. You are an ant in the afterbirth. It is in your nature to do one thing correctly. Before me you rightly tremble. But fear is not what you owe owe me all."
-The Red Dragon

1:59 AM


Friday, April 11, 2003  
Greetings True-Believers!
It is officially Spring Break. No Tijuana or Cabo for me. No topless bars. No endless drunken nights, well maybe. Just kicking back and trying to avoid doing all the freakin' homework Baum gave us. There's a reason it's called BREAK. Not break to read books by Kafka and Camus and do poetry projects, a break to get the hell away from this insanity that we call an education. And of course, when we return, APs are creeping up on us, letters of intent have to be mailed out, among other domestic problems we may have. For me, that would be having to leave for 3 days for the freakin fumigation of the supposed termites. We shall survive anyway. Whatever problems are thrown our way, we've just got to keep catching them and throwing them back out, because I've gotta tell ya, there's gonna be a constant barrage of problems thrown our way. Just be ready for 'em and it'll be all right. In other news, for those of you worried about your shows being picked up next season: That there's a list of picked up shows, cancelled shows, and maybe shows. I'm personally pissed that Ed and Futurama are being cancelled and if Boomtown is cancelled, I'm going renegade on NBC. 'Till next time, party hard but not too hard and stay strong but not too strong, if ya catch my drift.

6:19 PM


>>Some new potential Iraqi town names

>>1. Wherz-Myroof
>>2. Mykamel-Isded
>>3. Oshit-Disisbad
>>4. Waddi-El-Izgowinon
>>5. Pleez-Ztopdishit
>>6. Kizz-Yerass-Goodbi
>>7. Ikantstan-Disnomore
>>8. Wha-Tafuk-Wazi-Tinkin
>>9. Myturbin-Izburnin

2:38 AM


Funny Quotes

"He's not the brightest cookie in the lamp."

"Predicting is difficult, especially when it involves the future."

"That thing was jumping up and down like a sieve."

"We will be downsizing, and hopefully people will be leaving through nutrition."

"Hold on; the roller coaster is just leaving the dock."

"I have a photogenic memory and a near-genius IQ!"

"I've got a bone in my bonnet about this."

"They are raising the bar and they want us to jump through it."

"We've burned the first bridge, but we're not out of the woodwork yet."

"Well, you finished that project by the skin of your pants!"

"That idea went over like a ball of wax."

"You still have two minutes, as the crow flies."

A basketball player recently commented that since his trade,
"Everything has been peaches and gravy."

"It's not wrong; it's just not specific enough."

My boss tried to compliment my memory the other day, with the assertion that I "must have a real data suppository in my head."

"Not the sharpest knife in the deck."

"Off the cuff of my head, I don't know."

"He's been beating his head around the bush for a long time."

From the classroom: "Mr. Black, how many undiscovered islands are left in the world?"

"Everybody's got oxen to grind."

"Each of you pitched a home run today!"

12:30 AM


Thursday, April 10, 2003  

Have you noticed that the longer you know people, the deafer you both get? My theory is that it's hard to listen to people you know,because they've already used up all of their interesting stories, and now they're just talking because they like it when noise comes out of their body. The conversational problem is compounded if the party in question tends to take things literally. When you're dealing with a literal person, there's no such thing as a simple conversation. For example, you might often have this sort of exchange:

You: "The moon looks beautiful tonight."

Person: "Which moon?"

You: "How many moons are there? It's night. We're outdoors. I'm looking up."

Person: "You could have meant Reverend Moon of the Unification Church."

You: "You thought maybe he was here?"

Person: "You didn't say, 'the one in the sky.' You just blurted it out. How was I supposed to read your mind? Now I hate you."

Your only defense against the scourge of conversational familiarity is to pretend to listen, and occasionally contribute phrases such as, "I totally agree" and "You couldn't be more right." Sometimes you'll be caught off guard with a multiple-choice question. If that happens, my experience is that the second choice is always the best. The first choice is usually a fake-out, and the third one is a last minute add-on just to make the question more difficult.

8:14 PM


Tuesday, April 08, 2003  
30 Minute Waste of Energy or 30 Minute Waste of Time. You be the judge.
01. Fallen for a friend? Sure, why not
02. Made out with JUST a friend? Non
03. Rejected someone? I think so
04. Been in love? a beautiful thiiing...
05. Been in lust? Uh, does a guy have a penis?
06. Used someone? Righto mate.
07. Been used? I guess...I'm not sure if I like it.
08. Cheated on someone? Nah
09. Been cheated on? Nah
10. Been kissed? Yep
11. Done something you regret? Umm....Not recently
Who was the last person...
12. You touched? Jade
13. You talked to? Kevin, ruuusian intelligence
14. You hugged? Jade
15. You instant messaged? Erika
16. You kissed? Cannot recall...that's sad (Parents don't count)
18. You yelled at? A group of stupid people on Heath Ave. without them knowing it
19. You laughed with? Kevin, Jared, Josh, and Jeremy
20. You had a crush on? Jennifer Garner
21. Who broke your heart? None of yo' wasp wax
Do you...
22. Color your hair? Hayl no
23. Have tattoos? Nope
24. Piercings? Don't think so
25. Have a boyfriend? If by boyfriend you mean boyfriend, no. If by boyfriend you mean
26. Floss daily? Nah. Thin wire between my teeth frightens me.
27. Own a webcam? Yes'm
28. Ever get off the damn computer? Why would I sit on my computer?
29. Sprechen sie deutsche? I tried to learn...But all I know now is Konnen si etwas langsammer sprechen? Nein ich bin leidig. Enshuldigung...and other useless phrases...Ask me if you wanna know what they mean
30. Habla espanol? Uuumm...I'll have a number 3 with an extra gordita...
Have you/do you/do you have...
40. Considered a life of crime? If you mean taking over the world, who hasn't?
41. Considered being a hooker? Any buyers?
42. Considered being a pimp? Considered? Hell I've been one since I was in the womb.
43. Are you psycho? No. Just insane.
44. Split personalities? No. Triple personalities on the other hand...
45. Schizophrenic? Ain't that the same thing?
46. Obsessive? And compulsive.
47.Obsessive compulsive? Oh....yeah.
48. Panic? For what.
50. Depressed? Just when I'm really sad.
51. Suicidal? Only in the morning.
52. Obsessed with hate? Depends about who.
53. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? Judges? Hell no.
54. Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? Judges again? You're friggin nuts.
56. What would you rather be doing? Now? Sleeping. In the future? Flying around, but not on a plane or helicopter.
58. What are you listening to? The sound of my typing and Galactika by MC Solar
59. Can you do anything freakish with your body? I can move my nose two different ways and I cannot bend my thumb without bending my index finger.
60. Chicken or fish? Fish, then chicken for desert...then some bacon..mmmm.
61. Do you have a favourite animal, no matter how lame it may be? Bengal Tiger
Current Clothes: Mah sexy boxers and a lamo shirt from Paris.
Current Mood: Agitated and Exhausted.
Current Music: Uum...why do you feel the need to repeat yourself?
Current Taste: Petit Gateau Sec
Current Hair: Must you ask? Puffy and proud of it.
Current Annoyance: Yeah, how about humanity and the US educational system.
Current Smell: Carpet.
Current thing I ought to be doing: Sleeping ...yes...
Current Desktop Picture: The Eiffel Tower
Current Favorite Group: Not just one...Maynard Ferguson, Norah Jones, Rufus Wainwright, MC Solar and others.
Current Book: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Part 4.
Current DVD In Player: Who leaves dvds in the player?
Current Refreshment: OJ...and I'm not talking juice...OK I am.
Current Worry: USC Response (or lack of one) and Calculus Test
Current Crush: SSH!
Current Favorite Celebrity: Guy: Colin Farrel Gal: Jennifer Garner
Understanding: Yep
Open-minded: Always
Arrogant: At times
Interesting: I sure hope so
Hungry: Nah
Friendly: Everyday
Smart: All signs point to hell yeah
Moody: Nope
Childish: You're childish...diaper face..
Independent: Only when I'm by myself
Hard working: When I have to be.
Organized: Not even a little bit...OK maybe a little...
Healthy: I must for my students.
Emotionally Stable: What's it to you? Ok...I am.
Shy: Sometimes
Difficult: Not really
Bored Easily: Depends
Thirsty: Yeah
Responsible: Yessir
Sad: Yes...Leaving home, friends, and town...
Happy: Usually
Trusting: Too much
Trustoworthy: I certainly hope so
Unique: Da uniquesest.
Lonely: Not really
Name: Pasha Bahsoun
Nicknames: Pash, Mastah P, Domingo, Curly, Bastard, Hey guy...
Hair color: Mah sexy brownitude
Birthday: July 23, 1985
Eye Color: Uuumm...Hazel...or Brown Something
Siblings: No'm
Righty or lefty? Righty. Dats right.
What's your sign? Leo..Rarr
On Dating...
Long or short hair? Not an issue.
Dark or blond hair? So don't care.
Tall or short? Not taller than me.
Pretty but dumb or Ok looking but smart? Hot genius. That works...but not more geniuser than me...
Dark or light eyes? Yeah...why would I be looking at their eyes...just kidding ladies.....doesn't matter.
Light skinned or dark? Doesn't mattah if you're black or white! Du Du Du DUUH DUUH
Pierced or no? Ears? Yes. Nipples? No. Other? Verify with me.
Freckles or none? Scattered...but not a lot...cause then it gets a little much.
Skinny or pudgy? Not an issue...but be healthy.
thuggish or sporty type? I don't want a gangster girlfriend weirdo...Sporty
Whitewashed, Thuggish, Fobby? Again with the gang member....and why are these the only choices....
Accent or American? Either way...although Italian or French accent eez very sexy, non?
On preferences...
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? Chocolat Chaud
McDonalds or Burger King? BK...more fun...for some reason
Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend? A horny, sexified buddy....or perfect friend works, geez.
Sweet or sour? Depends on da mood...sweet usually.
Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? Blech...Carbonated prune juice and fake alcohol? No thanks.
Sappy/action/comedy/horror? Great action or fun comedy. Or fun action or great comedy. You be the judge.
Cats or dogs? Kitties.
Ocean or Pool? Pool.
Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese? Cool Ranch, pardner.
Mud or Jell-O wrestling? Mud reminds me of a certain bodily function so Jell-O.
With or without ice-cubes? With...nice and cool...aaah
Shine or rain? Cloudy...rain is annoying if you're outside...and I'm tanned as it is.
Winter/Summer/Fall/Spring? Fall for the weather, Summer for the fun.
Vanilla or Chocolate? Vanilla...and strawberries...
Snowboarding or skiing? Skiing...even though I run over dogs and people and crash into bushes and trees.
Cake or cookies? Ma's birthday cake...or cookies for a snack.
Cereal or toast? Cereal. More fun.
Gloves or mittens? Gloves...cooler non? But if da glove don't fit, I'll go with a mit.
Eyes open or closed? Huh? Uuuh open. Crackheads
Fly or breathe under water? fly away into the shiny paradise...not swim swim into dark abyss
Bunk-bed or waterbed? Waterbed...I always hit my head on bunk-beds.
Hard candy or chewing gum? Candy....gum makes me gag...don't laugh.

This message brought to you by Life. There is no escape

6:53 PM


You Have Normal Coping Skills
You are normal. Lucky little you

What Self-Mutilation Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I have the dumbest self-mutation ever. EVER!

12:07 AM


Monday, April 07, 2003  
Shit! It turns out that mornings are now even darker than they were before! It looks the same outside when I wake up as it did when I went to sleep. How freakin depressing is that? I hate mornings. Mornings should be banned. I hate waking up. I am not a morning person.

I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window,
And crushed his fucking head.
I am not a morning person.

6:41 PM


Sunday, April 06, 2003  
Saw Phonebooth last night with Erica, Erika, Ilana, Jonny and Kevin. And I have one thing to say: I want Kiefer Sutherland's voice. I mean c'mon, he could say "I'm feeling a little bloated after that Mackarel. I need some laxative quick," and still sound cool. Anyway, I thought the movie was kickass, very Hitchcockish (no snickering!), very innovative and very entertaining. I will be speaking in a Brooklyn accent for a few days. "Hey Lou! Bring da trunk arooowned." Tons o' fun afterwards. Just lounging around in the food court. Abusing Kevin's cell phone camera, mocking people, getting mad at people for looking at me (assholes), and just sharing stories and having a genuinely good time, before we all go our separate ways in college (Saddness) In other news, still no news from USC. They want to torture me, I'm telling you. Spring break starting Friday! WOO! Note to everyone reading this, we must do several things, yes...we must...Six Feet Under tonight, no Boomtown, repeat of Alias, but KING OF IRON CHEFS PART 1 AT 11. WOO. But sadditude fills me because these are the last episodes of Iron Chef...oh vell...We shall survive. The new Matrix Reloaded Trailer is "premiering" on access hollywood on thurs. but you can see it here first. Go check it out. Totally kick ass. (Mpeg Bigger, Biggest look the nicest) And Erika, you must see The Matrix, I will see to it that you do! Movies to see: Cowboy Bebop, X2 (WOO), Matrix Reloaded (WOO HOO), Matrix Revolutions (WOO HOO HOOEY), Tomb Raider 2 (WOO HOO THOSE ARE BIG BREASTS), Lord of the Rings: The Return of then King (WHOOPEY DEE DOO WOO HOO) and countless others. Anyway, hope everyones au courant with the time change. It's kinda useless and annoying if ya ask me. But no more dark mornings! Till next time, Fare thee all Well.
8:59 PM


Friday, April 04, 2003  
I sent in my UCLA audition tape...I did my best...That's all I can do...Ok, so I'm at the post office waiting to pay for the box thing to mail my tape and this German guy in front of me is taking his sweet sausagey time. What's he doing you ask? Buying stamps. And we're not talking a page, or some for a collection. He's buying stamps for his entire village. He spent $594.00 on stamps. What in the hell? Anyway, the tape is out and out of my hands. Whether the sun will rise or set is unknown. But my life will go on nonetheless...
1:01 AM


Wednesday, April 02, 2003  
9:20 PM



I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type

9:19 PM


APRIL FOOLS!!! I hope every single one of you guys caught need help. In other news, Johns Hopkins can bite my balls.
7:10 PM


Hell yeah...Who got into Stanford? Yes that would be me. Even tougher decision now...It turns out I have a half-brother who lives in Italy..Yeah, what great news to be given at this stressful time. College admissions, APs, and oh you have a half-brother. He's 24. What the hell fuck shit hell? This world just keeps getting worse and worse, an Iraqi freedom fighter or whatever is totally pissed off and he decides to bomb Mall of America. I mean what kind of sick shit is this? First 911, then the war, now this. Insanity! Anyway, I hope everyone's doing well...Still killing these rats on my balcony...Pieces of shit...Fare thee well all.
2:04 AM


Tuesday, April 01, 2003  
Ah yes...My beautiful Jetta has returned to its humble abode of my garage...Yes, $473.27 later, it has returned. In other news, I hate the way Ms. Weiss says "food." "FFFFFOooooddd is very important you guys. *sniff* You've all gotta get your PROtein. *sniff* Did I mention I was a lesbian...FFFOOOooooddd." Anyway, still no word from USC or Johns Hopkins, but it is not yet an indication of rejection. The nice USC customer service lady said there. I cannot take 1st period anymore. Poor Kuechle got 10 points off for closing his eyes. I mean c'mon! It's 7 in the morning and we're highschool kids. No one goes to bed before 11 unless they're really lucky. Mertens is the antichristMertens is the antichristMertens is the antichristMertens is the antichrist... HaloHaloHaloHalo....I bid thee all adieu...
8:06 PM


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