Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.

  • Behavioral Therapist
  • MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
  • BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA

  • Movies to See:
    Mission Impossible
    A Dangerous Method

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    The Life & Times of Tim

  • Book to Read:
    Game of Thrones
    by George R.R. Martin

  • Album to Listen to:
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    El Camino

  • Person to Hate:
    Newt Gingrich

  • Group of People to Despise:
    Fox & Friends


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Tuesday, December 22, 2009  
Considering that I'm currently on a Virgin America flight from New York to Los Angeles, traveling at 484 mph, at 35,949 feet, typing this, it is a safe assumption that aspects of nerd-dom have become nerd-chique. All the cable news cliches of the social networking revolution occurring over the last couple of news, while exaggerated and reeking of hard candy from 1983 (you know, because they're old) have a twinge of truth behind them.

Case in point would be the onset of utilizing blogs, such as this one, to garner revenue by selling ad-spaces through mediums such as Google Adsense and Adify. However, take a look at the top of this site. What about to the middle-left of the page. At the very bottom? Do you see a trend? Are there any ads for laser hair removal, great abs in minutes or something the Kardashians are doing? Probably not. In all likelihood, you are looking at ads sponsored by the Ad Council which, while I appreciate having ads for organizations such as Autism Speaks represented on my website, they yield no revenue for yours truly. This whole ad-game is a double-edged sword, if I'm using the correct metaphor. You see, if I want to make money, I need to have a repulsive picture of an ugly fat guy juxtaposed with a picture of an ugly guy with six-pack abs at the very forefront of my page, in order to make money. But if I have a tasteful ad for the American Cancer Society, the T.J.B. checking account gets nada.

Which leads me to the brilliant ad campaigns featured on my preferred source of time wasting: Facebook. As a free service, Facebook, like pretty much every website that doesn't sell stuff, relies on ads for revenue, as well as those "gifts" that no one sends to each other and some applications which charge a fee.

By the way, if I get one more Farmville or Vampire request, I will end unfriending you.

As a result, ads pepper every page on Facebook. While the easy targets are the Devry and "Punch the Monkey" ads of the world, it is the sidebar ads, which play to the least-common denominator of the general public, thus providing the most inane amusement.

You mean if I can solve x-squared plus xy to the 9th power, I can receive money AND get a degree!? Can I also hold my coat with one finger over my shoulder like that super cool bald guy with glasses?!

I know Americans are notoriously unhealthy eaters....but I'm pretty sure that unless you're Snow White, apples aren't all that mysterious

Even if your credit score is less than optimal, if you hold a stethoscope up to've got other things to worry about.

Everybody who grabs their sander first when inventing something raise your hands. Ok, neanderthal on the left, you invented the wheel, so you're off the hook.

Which segues me to...

I'm not sure if this ad is a referendum on homeowners, or people who take money from Obama in general. Regardless, it seems that unless you refinance your mortgage, you become Encino Man.

While it's nice to see that zombies who wear granny glasses are able to father children, I'm not sure that they even actually need to go back to school, given this sort of lucrative modeling exposure.

Sure I may not be making all of 3 cents per ad click anymore, but I think the integrity of this website is really what's most important.

This post was sponsored in part by Baconnaise.

: It's America's ultimate bacon-flavored spread!

: For those of us who yearn for an angioplasty, but are too lazy to actually make bacon and dip it in mayonnaise.

3:27 PM


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