Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.

  • Behavioral Therapist
  • MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
  • BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA

  • Movies to See:
    Mission Impossible
    A Dangerous Method

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    The Life & Times of Tim

  • Book to Read:
    Game of Thrones
    by George R.R. Martin

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    El Camino

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    Newt Gingrich

  • Group of People to Despise:
    Fox & Friends


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Friday, January 28, 2005  
A Testament to the Corruption and Utter Bullshit of the UCLA Parking Department

I wrote this letter after receiving yet another ticket last week. What a low life parking "enforcement" officer was doing giving a ticket at 10:10 AM I will never know.


My name is Pasha Bahsoun and I am an undergraduate student who has been commuting to UCLA for almost 2 years. I have never received a parking permit so, as a result, I've had to either purchase day passes for $7 daily or park at the meters. I took the MTA for one quarter and was assaulted on the bus so I do not have any desire to take it any longer.

I'm writing this email not to complain about not receiving a permit or about the overpriced day passes, but to propose something entirely different. I, and many people I know, have bought countless day passes and have received numerous parking tickets (I believe I've gotten about ten total) and we do not know where the money from these passes and citations go. It can't be going into building more parking structures because none, to my knowledge, are being built.

So my modest proposal is for at least a portion of the money made from the passes & citations should be donated to some sort of worthy cause such as Tsunami Relief, the National Cancer Institute, the National AIDS Fund, the UCLA Jonsson Comprehensive Cancer Center, the UCLA AIDS Institute or any number of other worthy institutions who deserve donations. I know I would feel much better about paying so much money for parking if I knew it was for an admirable cause. I would appreciate it immensely if you took the time to consider this. Thank you very much.

Pasha Bahsoun

And here is the utterly bogus response from the venerable Condoleeza Rice of the parking department.

Dear Pasha Bahsoun:

I am responding to your January 21, 2005, e-mail to Chancellor Carnesale, as Parking Services and Parking Enforcement on the UCLA campus fall under my area of responsibility.

While your suggestion for the donation of parking revenue for Tsunami relief is a noble one, by state law and University policy, these funds are designated for use in supporting the transportation system at UCLA. Please be assured that parking citation fee net revenues are already utilized for a worthy goal: that of supporting alternative transportation. According to state law, the parking fines and forfeitures revenue generated from citations issued by UCLA Parking Enforcement in campus lots and structures "...shall be utilized for the development, enhancement, and operation of alternate methods of transportation of students and employees of the University of California and for the mitigation of the impact of off-campus student and employee parking in university communities." To that end, the revenue generated from citations issued by UCLA Parking Enforcement supports Transportation and traffic mitigation programs. Continuing support of these ridesharing and traffic mitigation programs, including the Vanpool program, BruinGo! Transit Pass Program and carpool fee subsidies, help UCLA meet ridesharing targets, keep in compliance with regulatory requirements, reduce traffic congestion and improve air quality.

Revenues collected through parking fees are the only source of funding for all parking programs, including construction, operation and maintenance of parking structures and lots; parking lighting, safety and seismic upgrades; and the staffing of parking areas and information kiosks. California State Assembly Bill #1129 (1960) and Regent's policy prohibit the use of State funds for parking facilities on University of California campuses and require that all vehicles parked thereon be registered once a year and subject to an annual fee sufficient to cover the cost of construction, maintenance and administration of parking facilities. Parking fee revenues generated in excess of those required to support operations, maintenance and debt service on construction go to support alternative transportation.

While I understand you may no longer wish to utilize public transit as a commute option, it may interest you to know that there are several other alternative transportation options to get to the UCLA campus. Available rideshare programs include carpooling, vanpooling, bicycling, and walking, depending on where you live. By opting to participate in one of these alternative transportation programs, you not only save money, but you also improve air quality and traffic mobility, while reducing your commuting stress. Should you have further questions or concerns regarding parking on the UCLA campus, please contact Transportation Services Associate Director Brian d'Autremont at (310) 267-4674. For a comprehensive outline of the alternative transportation options that are available, call (310) 794-RIDE for more information and ask for a CommuterGuide or visit the Transportation Services' website at http://www.transportation.ucla/.

Thank you very much for taking the time to write us and offer your suggestion.

Renée A. Fortier

Thanks "Renee." You've helped me in absolutely no way and I will continue to attempt to steal parking from your evil organization. I will be the downfall of your department. Mark my words. MARK MY WORDS RENEE!!!

*Note: Any threats to person(s) shouldn't be taken seriously as they are used purely for dramatic effect. Any complaints about any alleged threats should be sent to

2:23 AM


Wednesday, January 26, 2005  
God dammit

To any right wing, fascists who either voted for Bush or are happy that Bush won, please take the time to read this article from The New Yorker. It reveals a lot about our corrupt "commander" in chief and his cronies. The next four years are gonna look a lot like the last four years.

The Coming Wars by Seymour Hersh

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually,
we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.

California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue
States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii,
Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all
of the North East.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to
almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of
California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift
the whole country at 4:30 pm EST next Friday. Therefore, please let
everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.

So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get stem cell
research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
(Okay, we have to keep the Governator; we can live with that.) We get
the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss. We get 85% of
America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the
technological innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax
revenue, and you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian coalition's, we
get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to
support, and we know how much you like that.

Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies? But heck the
only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs.

Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your
state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. Ouch, bet
that hurts. Just so we're clear, the country of California will be
pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue
States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask
your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to
their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you
don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.

Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope,
really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction.
Seriously. Soon.


10:52 PM


Monday, January 24, 2005  
I felt a strange sense of peace and serenity this evening, in striking comparison to the sense of anxiety from this morning...I have no idea why...But it was good.

Maybe someone slipped me a pot brownie and I didn't notice...

Ah well

9:40 PM


Saturday, January 15, 2005  
All I can say is...
oh my fucking god.

Chronically Demented eBay auction

PLEASE don't bid on it

2:54 AM


Saturday, January 08, 2005  
The Sucking Never Ends
Now if this clip isn't proof that Ashlee Simpson needs to be stopped and/or killed, I do not know what is.

Ashlee Simpson Booed at the Orange Bowl

By the way, what's with the double E at the end of her name? Is she trying to be unique? Weird spelled name on top of shitty singing? It's just adding insult to injury, Simpson...OJ was at the Orange Bowl and he's coming after you sweetheart...

4:54 AM


Tuesday, January 04, 2005  
Round Two

As promised here are the top 10 worst movies of 2004, in my humble opinion. These movies are either just really bad or were huge disappointments.

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2004
1. Alexander - I didn't see it but come on
2. The Punisher
3. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
4. Catwoman
5. The Day after Tomorrow
6. Godsend
7. The Girl Next Door
8. The Terminal
9. The Big Bounce
10. Ladykillers

And since I did it last year, and I feel like I would be depriving my dear readers otherwise, here are the top 10 best TV shows of 2004

Top 10 Best TV Shows of 2004
1. Nip/Tuck
2. 24
3. The Sopranos
4. Lost
5. Arrested Development
6. Alias
7. Six Feet Under
8. Rescue Me
9. Significant Others
10. Chappelle's Show
Very Honorable Mentions to Deadwood, Smallville, The Office Finale, Joan of Arcadia, The Apprentice and Monk

As always, feel free to voice your opinion or defend your beloved films and TV shows

2:41 PM


Monday, January 03, 2005  
Happy New Year Everyone!

And you know what that means. The yearly, superficial tradition of listing the top 10 movies of 2004 and my top 10 most anticipated films of 2005. Brace yourself, cause here they come!
*Disclaimer: These are movies that I have seen. Other supposedly brilliant movies like Finding Neverland, Sideways and The Aviator have not been seen so do not qualify for the list. That said, this was a surprisingly hard list to make.

Top 10 Best Movies of 2004
1. Kill Bill Vol. 2
2. Closer
3. Spider-Man 2
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
5. The Incredibles
6. Garden State
7. Collateral
8. Napoleon Dynamite
9. Shrek 2
10. Fahrenheit 9/11

*The following list is just movies that I'm anticipating. It does not indicate the "goodness" of the films. After all, last year Alexander was on this list...

Top 16 Most Anticipated Movies of 2005
1. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - May 19, 2005
2. Batman Begins - June 17, 2005
3. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - May 6, 2005
4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - November 18, 2005
5. Sin City - April 1, 2005
6. Fantastic Four - July 1, 2005
7. War of the Worlds - June 29, 2005
8. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - July15, 2005
9. Serenity - September 30, 2005
10. The Pink Panther - September 23, 2005
11. Elektra - January 14, 2005
12. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - December 19, 2005
13. King Kong - December 15, 2005
14. Constantine - February 18, 2005
15. Chicken Little - November 4, 2005
16. Aeon Flux - TBA

There are a ton of movies coming out in 2005 so I just had to extend my list.
All or most of the film trailers for the top 10 of 2005 can be found on the internet if you're curious.

Stay tuned for the top 10 worst movies of 2004..

1:07 AM


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