Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.



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Wednesday, January 26, 2005  
God dammit

To any right wing, fascists who either voted for Bush or are happy that Bush won, please take the time to read this article from The New Yorker. It reveals a lot about our corrupt "commander" in chief and his cronies. The next four years are gonna look a lot like the last four years.

The Coming Wars by Seymour Hersh


Also:
Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually,
we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.

California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue
States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii,
Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all
of the North East.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to
almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of
California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift
the whole country at 4:30 pm EST next Friday. Therefore, please let
everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.

So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get stem cell
research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
(Okay, we have to keep the Governator; we can live with that.) We get
the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss. We get 85% of
America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the
technological innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax
revenue, and you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian coalition's, we
get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to
support, and we know how much you like that.

Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies? But heck the
only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs.

Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your
state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. Ouch, bet
that hurts. Just so we're clear, the country of California will be
pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue
States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask
your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to
their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you
don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.

Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope,
really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction.
Seriously. Soon.

Sincerely,
California

10:52 PM
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