Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.



  • Behavioral Therapist
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  • BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA




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Friday, December 31, 2010  
Unresolved Resolution
As the first decade of the millennium winds down, I came to the startling realization that it has taken exactly 10 years for me to graduate from high school, graduate from college and graduate from graduate school. I started high school in the '99-'00 school year, the first year of the decade, graduated in '03; started at UCLA in '03, graduated in '07; started at Teachers College in '08 and graduated in '10, the last year of the decade. But as of now, other than being slightly taller, slightly smarter, slightly hairier, with cat and with lady, I am pretty much in the same position. I'm still out of work and spending more money than I actually have. Three degrees, a thesis and three years of work experience later, I'm back at square one.

It's not all bad though. I've gotten really good at writing cover letters, watching movies and playing video games. I also have time to ponder the important questions in life such as, "What is mayonnaise? Where does it come from?" and come to ground-breaking realizations such as if you read off the lyrics to the "Growing Pains" theme song, in a low, Hannibal Lecter-esque voice, it will sound like a serial killer whispering to his latest victim.

Therefore, in the New Year, the obvious resolution would be to get a job. But that would be implying that it is not something I've resolved to do prior to 1/1/11. Isn't the point of a resolution to enact a change on your life?

So I decided to take suggestions regarding potential resolutions.

That was a mistake.

The girlfriend, after reflecting on my various self-gifts this holiday season, in the form of DVDs, video games, DVDs, Blu Rays and video games, decides that I should resolve to abstain from buying anything for myself that I don't "need" for a month. First off, a month I can do. Second, I don't "need"? Of course I don't "need" them.... but I want them so so badly.

And then she escalated it. "Maybe you should think about why these objects make you happy. Do you think you would be any less happy without them?"

YES! I would be!

Now granted, I am a materialistic consuming fiend, and I acknowledge I do not need a 200+ DVD collection. But what is it that one actually needs? You don't need clothes, makeup, books, fingernail clippers, underwear and computers. But they make modern life so much easier and add to one's quality of life. They are creature comforts.

And relegated to pseudo-housewife, this creature needs to be comforted.

But I guess I'll stick to the original plan of not buying anything for a month.

...Mainly because the girlfriend changed my eBay and Amazon.com passwords.
2:50 PM
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