Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.



  • Behavioral Therapist
  • MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
  • BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA




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    by George R.R. Martin


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Thursday, February 26, 2009  
The Top Tens of 2008: Part 1
I tend to procrastinate. Anyone who knows me will attest to that...although I don't know why you'd be talking to someone else about my procrastination predispositions. Ignore the fact that this list should have come out just after the new year, as I intended to publish it before the Academy Award...because I don't want to feel like I'm taking away attention from the Oscars. For those of you who read last July's post know that I covered part of my favorite movies of 2008 due to the 7 month delay in putting out that damn list. Regardless, to make up for my delay I have added a brand new feature to my Top Ten Lists...which will be revealed in about 3 scrolls of your mouse. But first, the (semi) annual tradition.

Top Ten Movies of 2008

10. WALL-E

Few movies can entertain as much with so few lines of dialogue and such a bleak vision of the future of the United Nations of KFC. And to top it all off, a sweet love story between two robots. The fact that the only words that they utter are each other's names is adorable all on its own.

9. REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

From a bleak future of earth, to a bleak portrait of marriage. I have to say, if you're thinking about getting married anytime soon, don't see this movie because it is almost as if the book's author and the director, Sam Mendes, who is coincidentally married to one of the film's stars Kate Winslet, want no one to get married ever. It also could be a metaphor for the delusion of the American Dream...but seriously, it's about marriage sucking.

Some divorce stats for the kids:
AgeWomenMen
Under 20 years old27.6%11.7%
20 to 24 years old36.6%38.8%
25 to 29 years old16.4%22.3%
30 to 34 years old8.5%11.6%
35 to 39 years old5.1%6.5%


8. MILK

I'm not sure if I should be ashamed to say that the boy-on-boy kissing was a little too much on display for my liking, and was not balanced by girl-on-girl kissing, but this was still a well-acted biopic. Some people may have disapproved of Sean Penn for taking his homemade soapbox to the Oscars with him, but I beg to differ. Why are people hatin' on the gays? They should have the opportunity to be miserable just like everyone else. (See review above)

7. TELL NO ONE

Not one of you saw this movie. Why? Because it's in French and has subtitles. And you know what? I'm not going to tell you the plot, because that would force you to go look this up on Netflix and potentially add it to your queue. So, I'll wait for you to do that.

6. IN BRUGES

I did have to watch this movie twice in one night, or rather I chose to, to truly appreciate its subtle humor interlaced with its mob movie themes, and it was worth it. Bruges excursion anyone?

5. IRON MAN

Robert Downey Jr. is my current favorite actor. While I didn't like Tropic Thunder nearly as much as a lot of people did, he was amazing in it. And to add to that my status as comic book geek and action movie aficionado, this was an amazing combination of the two. Bring on The Avengers and Iron Man 2, please.

Have you guys looked up Tell No One yet? Ok I'll tell you this much...it's a thriller/mystery.

4. RELIGULOUS

Yes, Bill Maher was a prick at the Oscars, but that's who he is. And guess what? He was right. Why wasn't this movie nominated for best documentary? It's because religion is the most taboo subject in this country. More than politics. More than peanut butter. Sure he gets a little grim towards the end but this is a hilariously entertaining and thought-provoking movie. One thing is for sure, you will be talking about it when you finish watching it, whether you loved it or hated it.

3. GRAN TORINO

I would have personally renamed this movie Clint Eastwood: The Movie, because that crotchety old man persona makes this movie. The racial slurs, the growls, the old man heroism, is just a blast to watch and turns out to be heart-warming in the end. Who woulda thunk?

2. THE DARK KNIGHT

This movie really should be tied for first but I'll be a man and assign it to second. This is the first comic book movie that mainstreams the superhero into a real-world, grim, dark setting. This isn't bat-nipple, Batman or Robin in a green speedo, Batman. This is Batman as the crime-fighter and the Joker as a serial killer, terrorist as he would be in reality. Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker is the best on-screen performance I have seen in a while.

1. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

I know it killed at the Oscars, but it completely deserved it. The questions on the show which shaped Jamal's experience in the decrepit slums of Mumbai is a great frame to the movie's overall plot. And those Indian kids are adorable. It also has a bitchin' soundtrack, the lyrics of which I understand 0% of, including the tracks by M.I.A. There is also talk of a revival of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire," which may be a good or bad thing, depending on how long you've been a member of AARP.

Now comes the new feature of this post...the Top Five Guilty Pleasure Movies of 2008. This list consists of mostly terrible movies, but that are so entertaining, they come around the spectrum of being awful and are amazing.

Top Five Guilty Pleasure Movies of 2008

5. JUMPER

Anakin Skywalker can teleport and so can some other dudes. Some are good some are bad. Anakin whines a little bit while he's teleporting then fights like a girl. Also, Samuel L. Jackson is in it and looks like this:

















4. HANCOCK

This movie was more "not bad" than it was "not good" which makes it a winner in my guilty pleasure book. Will Smith in all of his narcissistic glory is an alcoholic superhero with every superpower known to man who's the last of his kind...or is he? That spells suspense...if suspense was spelled "suckspense."

3. NEVER BACK DOWN

There's a kid who just moved to a new town and a new high school. But not only does he have to deal with the pressures of your typical teenager...there's an underground fight club to add to it. Djimon Hounsou shows up as the stereotypical sage black guy, a la Bagger Vance, and helps train this kid...but only if he fights for good, and not for evil. Spoiler alert: the kid beats up the douchey bully from The OC at the end.

2. CLOVERFIELD

There's a mysterious monster in New York, which is actually a backlot in Los Angeles, and dumb kids running around with a camcorder. Imagine Friday the 13th where Jason is a giant monster and the idiot kids, who are a staple of scary movies, have a camcorder and it's less gory and way more entertaining. Be warned, you might have motion sickness by the end of the movie. Also, my girlfriend clung to me whenever she was scared while watching the movie, which was often, so that was good.

1. DEATH RACE

You've all seen the trailers. The guy from The Transporter movies is in prison...in the future...where they are forced to participate in televised death races. When the hero of those races dies, Jason Statham must step in to take his place...but there's more to these races than meets the eye...where what meets the eye is a Mustang strapped with grenade launchers, machine guns and spike launchers. I need only sum up this movie with my favorite line from any movie ever, spoken by Joan Allen, a reputed actress from The Contender and the Bourne movies...viewer discretion advised:

Hennessey: Okay cocksucker. Fuck with me, and we'll see who shits on the sidewalk.


There you have it. Part 2 to follow...eventually.
1:28 PM
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