The Jazzy Bahsoun

Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.

Behavioral Therapist
MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA

Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog

Movies to See:
Mission Impossible
Haywire
Shame
A Dangerous Method
Underworld:Awakening

TV Shows to Watch:
Portlandia
The Life & Times of Tim

Book to Read:
Game of Thrones
by George R.R. Martin

Album to Listen to:
The Black Keys
El Camino

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Newt Gingrich

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Fox & Friends

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Thursday, January 08, 2009
Coupon d'Etat
Growing up as a spoiled brat, I seldom had to think of keeping a budget for myself, that is until I moved to New York City. Not only is it necessary to maintain a personal student budget, but the city itself is one of the most expensive to live in. Even the coupons, which I now clip on a fairly regular basis, restrict the amount you can save within Manhattan. For example, a $1 off coupon for Dunkin Donuts has a fine print of "$0.50 off in Manhattan." Regardless, the frugal gourmet inside of me persists on seeking the most meager of deals, moreso to make me feel less guilty when I spend a couple Grants at happy hour.

One medium for which to practice being a cheap bastard is the realm of the online coupon. Last summer I became a Slurpee aficionado, thanks in part to the Iron Man inspired Amp energy flavor, presumably because Guarana extract will give you jet boots. As a result of the coupling of my Slurpee obsession and my newfound unemployment, I went to slurpee.com also known as the Slurpee Nation. There I found a printable coupon entitling me to the privilege of buying one slurpee and getting another free, thus aiding my path towards type 2 diabetes.

When I presented my freshly printed coupon to the young clerk at the Westwood 7-11, he looked at it confused. He then called the manager, who appeared to be his grandfather.

"What is this?"
"It's a coupon. I got it from the Slurpee website."
"From where?"
"The Slurpee website. I printed it."
"You cannot print coupons. Then everyone can have them."
"I know. That's the purpose of coupons. So people can use them."
"No no. You cannot."
"Yes you can, I promise. You see the barcode? Just scan it."
"No."
"Just try please. If it doesn't work I'll pay for both of them."

As luck would have it, the coupon scanned properly and deducted the amount of the second Slurpee. Steam visibly emanated from the manager's ears.

I then decided to push my luck the following week at another 7-11 on Venice Blvd. The exact same conversation as before proceeded, except the manager this time refused to even attempt to scan the coupon.The affable manager then mumbled something in Bengali to his subordinate and walked away in a huff. The clerk apologized and charged me for both Slurpees, handing me back the coupon. As if that wasn't insult enough, the lid to one of the Slurpees popped off and the green solution spilled outside of my car.

Upon returning home, I did what any self-respecting coupon-printer would do: I called 7-11 customer support. After an uncomfortably long conversation regarding our favorite Slurpee flavors, Todd informed me that it was at the discretion of each 7-11 manager to accept coupons. "Poppycock," I replied. However, he said he would send me coupons for free Slurpees that were more official than my printed alternatives. In addition, I filed a complaint against that 7-11. No doubt that action was swiftly taken by 7-11 goons.

The coupon embargo continued in New York when I printed a coupon from the Target website for another one of my snack obsessions, Cheez-Its. The coupon was for $2.00 off any box of Cheez-Its. As with my past experience with printed coupons, which I was convinced was a 7-11 exclusive conspiracy, my coupon was again rejected by Target. I can't say that I journeyed to the Target located in the luxurious neighborhood of the Bronx exclusively for Cheez-Its, but regardless, it's the principle of the thing. I would of course pay any price for Cheez-Its, coupon or not, but is printing pieces of paper something new to the people at these institutions? Have they been wronged in some way by printed coupons? It's not like they work for commission based on the amount of revenue as a result of Slurpee sales.

One thing is for certain, this battle is not over. I will continue the fight on the frontlines, printing coupons where they may be found and lobbying for my discounts. Because if nothing else, I am a student on a budget and in these tough economic times, we can only hold onto hope for better times, and to quote Nelson Mandela, "There will be a time when online coupons are accepted without oppression, for the benefit of all mankind."

2:58 PM
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