The Jazzy Bahsoun

Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.

Behavioral Therapist
MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA

Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog

Movies to See:
Mission Impossible
Haywire
Shame
A Dangerous Method
Underworld:Awakening

TV Shows to Watch:
Portlandia
The Life & Times of Tim

Book to Read:
Game of Thrones
by George R.R. Martin

Album to Listen to:
The Black Keys
El Camino

Person to Hate:
Newt Gingrich

Group of People to Despise:
Fox & Friends

Bitchin Links

Blogs and Writers of Note

Mary's Website

Mary's Blog

Ravi's Blog

Lauren's Blog

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Cracked

Best Week Ever

The Chive

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Cute Overload

Michael Moore's Blog

Joel Stein Columns

Maureen Dowd Columns

Secular Coalition of America

Richard Dawkins

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Machatz Self-Defense

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Ain't It Cool News

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Japander: See Actors Embarrass Themselves Abroad

Landover Baptist Church: Jesus Loves You Sometimes

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Old Stuff

March 2003
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Tuesday, April 08, 2008
I Tried to Ford the Ethanol River with a Prius and My Hormone-Free Oxen Died
As this website has recently shown, I've tried to make my lifestyle "greener," as those Hollywood types say. That is, by leaving my blog free of recent posts, fewer people are logging on and hence are using less power on their computer and heretofore, hence it be known...the earth is saved. So you may be thinking, why post now? Well, wily sir and/or madam, it is to inform you, my faithful readers, as well as people around the world accidentally stumbling upon this site by Googling Dale DaBone, regarding various fraudulent or hostile activities in our very community. And also when I end up in socially awkward situations that are particularly marketable in a blog setting.

I thought I would narrate the travesty known as my driving "skills," and the ways in which I've abused my Mustang but I then figured that I would never finish that post because my keyboard will have short-circuited due to the tears. So long story short: my job + no sleep + landslide on Sepulveda + 405 South at night = car go smash, me go nuts, mom go kill. In any case, after the dust settled and radiator fluid stopped leaking, I needed a rental car. After being rightfully punished with a Chevy Cobalt (no offense, Chevy...but seriously, manual windows?) I discovered that my insurance would pay for a better car. And so, I was given a Ford Escape Hybrid SUV to drive. Given prior incidents (get it?) with normal cars, I was pretty sure I was going to die in that car. However, the vehicle turned out to be a gentle giant. Gentle to drive and gentle on the wallet. It would prove very useful on our upcoming road trip to NorCal (post to come, eventually). Filling the tank up once each way, about 400 miles, is very, very nice.

In any case, upon my return home, beleaguered by work once again, and not so eager to part with my Hybrid, I decided to find out, just out of sheer curiosity, how much I would get for my Mustang if I traded it in for an Escape Hybrid. Needless to say, I wasn't going to go through with such a transaction, but I wanted to find out anyway. Little did I know that this would begin a cavalcade of email correspondence from one Tracey Dodd at a local dealership...

Dear Pasha:
Thank you for contacting Buerge Motors: Buerge Ford and Buerge Chrysler Jeep through Ford Direct.

We have the Hybrid you have requested in stock (4WD).
Please review the information.
Would you like to test drive? We can appraise your Mustang at the same time.

Ignored.

Dear Pasha:
Have you received the quotation and information I sent to you yesterday regarding the Hybrid you requested? Have you had a chance to review it yet Pasha?

Please let me know if this vehicle is of interest to you. Is it the right one?
Would like to test drive?

Ignored, but with less gusto than before. She is persistent this one, isn't she?

Dear Pasha:
Did you receive the quotation and information I sent to you on Monday regarding the HYBRID you requested through Ford Direct?

How may I help you further?
Is this the vehicle you are looking for?
Would you like to test drive?

Ok, now she's making me feel uncomfortable. What's with the consecutive questions, Tracey? And the capitalization of Hybrid is unnecessary. It's not an acronym.

At first I thought it was just an automated service from this dealership and so I just deleted them. But then I got the feeling that either this dealership really needed to sell some cars, fast or that I was truly hurting Tracey's feelings. The following email began to convince me that it was more the latter...

Dear Pasha
It has been nearly a week since I sent you the requested information and pricing on a Hybrid and I have followed up with subsequent e-mail messages, but you have yet to respond.

It is part of our service to help you in every way we can, as you contacted us regarding a vehicle, but I do not want to pester you with further e-mails if you are no longer interested, so please, just drop me a line if you would like me remove you from my follow-up list. Your interest in contacting Buerge Internet has been appreciated.

I did not want Tracey to be talking to her therapist about how she was ignored by yet another person this week, just like her father did when she was a child, so I responded to her promptly.

Hi Tracey,
I just got your most recent email. I was just curious about the pricing regarding the Hybrid and was not aware it would trigger all of these emails. I'm comfortable with my Mustang for now.

You need not pester me any longer.

Thanks,
Pasha

Ok Tracey, it's over between us. I know I done treated you wrong, but you understand, there's another car...

Dear Pasha:
If you request information from me, I send it to you, and when I do not hear in regard to the information I have sent, I follow-up. That's all really.
So thanks for letting me know, I appreciate it.
Tracey Dodd

I guess she's taking this breakup really hard. I don't suppose we could go the "let's still be friends" route?

I contemplated emailing her back, but I figure I'd let her be. Give the wounds left by myself some time to heal. Perhaps I'll visit her some day.

I lowered my emissions for only about 3 weeks with that car, but I did increase my hard to get ratio by 4 clicks. For those of you thinking my efforts to become green are a farce, I did call my building manager, whose name happens to be Jackass, to have him bring some recycling bins to our building. With all the aerosol cans I use everyday spray painting bald eagles with my engine running while taking a bath and reading the LA Times printed on styrofoam, it's a wonder how I'm the only one who noticed that our building has not made an effort to be kinder to the environment.

By the way, for all the times I mentioned Ford, do I get a car or something? Maybe a spark plug?

9:40 PM
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