Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.




  • Behavioral Therapist
  • MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
  • BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA




  • Movies to See:
    Mission Impossible
    Haywire
    Shame
    A Dangerous Method
    Underworld:Awakening


  • TV Shows to Watch:
    Portlandia
    The Life & Times of Tim


  • Book to Read:
    Game of Thrones
    by George R.R. Martin


  • Album to Listen to:
    The Black Keys
    El Camino


  • Person to Hate:
    Newt Gingrich


  • Group of People to Despise:
    Fox & Friends




 

Bitchin Links


Blogs and Writers of Note

Mary's Website

Mary's Blog

Ravi's Blog

Lauren's Blog

Cheryl's LiveJournal

TV Squad

The Soup

Cracked

Best Week Ever

The Chive

On Location Vacations

Cute Overload

Michael Moore's Blog

Joel Stein Columns

Maureen Dowd Columns

Secular Coalition of America

Richard Dawkins


Personal Stuff

My Facebook

My Twitter

My YouTube Videos

My DVD Collection

My Books

Machatz Self-Defense


For Politics and Political Satire

The Huffington Post

Salon.com

Politico

The Daily Beast

The Onion

The Colbert Nation

Truthdig

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart


For Entertainment

Ain't It Cool News

IGN

Rotten Tomatoes

DVD Active

Movie Stinger

AdTunes

The Daily Wav

Movie Mistakes


For Humor and Other Things

HuffPost Comedy

Funny or Die

The Lonely Island

Shit My Dad Says

F My Life

Daily Python

College Humor

Super Mario Crossover

People of Walmart

E-Mails from an Asshole

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

God Checker

Church Sign Maker

Strong Bad Email

Japander: See Actors Embarrass Themselves Abroad

Landover Baptist Church: Jesus Loves You Sometimes


For Bruins

The Daily Bruin

Bruins Nation

Bruin Basketball Report

UCLA Bruin Marching Band: The Solid Gold Sound

The REAL $UC Application

















 
Old Stuff

March 2003

April 2003

May 2003

June 2003

July 2003

August 2003

September 2003

October 2003

November 2003

December 2003

January 2004

February 2004

March 2004

April 2004

May 2004

June 2004

July 2004

August 2004

September 2004

October 2004

November 2004

December 2004

January 2005

February 2005

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

September 2007

November 2007

January 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

October 2008

November 2008

December 2008

January 2009

February 2009

March 2009

April 2009

May 2009

June 2009

July 2009

August 2009

September 2009

October 2009

November 2009

December 2009

January 2010

February 2010

March 2010

April 2010

June 2010

August 2010

November 2010

December 2010

February 2011

April 2011

May 2011

July 2011






 








































Photobucket
 
Sunday, January 21, 2007  
The Year that Sucked
It occured to me that I've been making these top 10 lists since 2003. That's...a long time ago. I was barely a freshman in college, immature, frightened and stupid. And now here I am in 2007, a senior in college about to graduate (shudder)... immature, frightened and stupid. What a long way I've come.

So now, let's finally put the year that was to rest for good...by reminiscing on what were the worst excuses for entertainment in 2006. The fact that five of the movies on my top 10 most anticipated list from last year, three of which made it to this year's top 10 worst list, is disheartening. Here's to a better year at the movies.

Top Ten Worst Movies of 2006


10. THE LAST KISS

Ok this movie wasn't actually a bad movie. I gave it 4/5 stars on Netflix. So why's it on this list? Because it was just so god damn depressing in the way it depicted relationships. While watching scenes from this movie I would think to myself, "Oh that's funny...that's something I would say," and then the guy's girlfriend would slap him or throw a bottle at him. I guess I need some work.

9. CARS

Pixar usually doesn't disappoint...usually. This movie was just so long and so into itself that it drove (haha) me nuts. It dragged on for about an hour too long, the animation wasn't that impressive and Owen Wilson's voice is grating. The fact that I hate car racing as a "sport" doesn't help either.

8. THE DA VINCI CODE

Ok the movie was entertaining enough but it suffered from a bad case of "The Audience is Filled with Mental Defects so Let's Spell Everything Out For Them" Syndrome (or TAiFwMDsLSEOFT Syndrome for you psych majors out there). And I don't think I've spoken to someone who wasn't profoundly disturbed by Tom Hankses doo. A coiffe that would make Donald Trump blush.

7. HOSTEL

It's tradition to have at least one movie on this list that I haven't seen, and this movie I will not see under any circumstances. This isn't a horror movie, it's a sadistic, disgusting piece of junk. Would you like to watch 2 hours of some guy torturing another human being? I saw one scene from this movie by accident and it involved the torturer taking a blow torch to a young girl's eyeball. The eye then swells up and pops out of the socket. I just have one question, when's the inevitable sequel coming out?

6. THE SENTINEL

I saw this movie for one reason and one reason only: Kiefer. Except, Jack Bauer didn't make an appearance in this movie. It was some strange caricature of him that led to a boring as hell storyline that I could care less about. Oh and hey Eva Longoria...stop trying to act in serious roles. Stick with that Housewives gig for a couple of months before it gets cancelled then go sell blenders with Suzanne Somers on QVC. I saw you at that gym...you're not that hot.

5. SNAKES ON A PLANE

No one was expecting Oscar-calibre writing or acting from this movie. They just wanted to be entertained by a mindless movie about serpents on an airline. Instead everyone was pretty much laughing at the movie....not with it.

4. LADY IN THE WATER

Hey Mortimer Night (that's what the M stands for doesn't it?)... stop smokin' the ganja when you come up with your movies. Basing a movie off of a crackheaded fairytale you tell your kids? Cute, but lame. Nice try.

3. THE NIGHT LISTENER

I have NO cuhlue what was happening in this movie, nor did I care. I just know that Robin Williams didn't crack any jokes, Christina from "Grey's Anatomy" had 3 lines in the movie and Macullay Culkin's brother is in it for a few minutes. And clocking in at 1 hour and 16 minutes, this barely qualifies as a film.

2. MIAMI VICE

I saw this movie for free (thank god) at the Director's Guild and for most of the movie, people were cracking up either at the ridiculous dialogue, the sex scenes that didn't make any sense (how can you make a sex scene unintelligible) and the horrible acting. Even the gunfire wasn't realistic...they sounded like paintball guns. Walking out of the theater I heard at least 3 times people mumbling under their breath various forms of, "What asshole greenlit that piece of crap," or, "I want the last 2 hours of my life back."

1. X-MEN 3: THE LAST STAND

Everyone who has spoken to me at least once since May knows how much this movie made me mad. Why should a stupid movie get to me like that? Because it only destroyed a little piece of my childhood that I was still holding on to. You don't kill every beloved character from the storyline just because you can't pay them or you want to end the franchise cause you got in a fight with Bryan Singer. These comic books were a part of my youth and Brett Ratner and Halle Berry and the so-called screenwriters went and pissed on it, vomited on it, fell asleep on it, drooled a little, woke up, then pissed on it again. This is a disgraceful piece of filmmaking and is an insult to passionate fanboys such as myself.


That was emotionally draining. Closing out the annual tradition for 2006, here are the movies I'm looking forward to seeing in the coming year. Hopefully none of them will end up on next year's top 10 worst list.

Top Ten Most Anticipated Movies of 2007

10. EVAN ALMIGHTY - June 22nd

9. THE SIMPSONS MOVIE - July 27th

8. OCEAN'S 13 - June 8th

7. SHREK THE THIRD - May 18th

6. THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM - August 3rd

5. TRANSFORMERS - July 4th

4. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END - May 26th

3. 300 - March 9th

2. HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX - July 13th

1. SPIDER-MAN 3 - May 4th


Well there you have it. Judge me if you will for my choices, but you must keep in mind...that I know more than you.

10:08 PM
Comments

Share

 
This page is powered by Blogger.Humor Blog Top Sites