Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.




  • Behavioral Therapist
  • MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
  • BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA




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    A Dangerous Method
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    The Life & Times of Tim


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    Game of Thrones
    by George R.R. Martin


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    Fox & Friends




 

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Saturday, May 27, 2006  
They're Celebrities!!! Get Them Out of Here!!!
Many of you, much like me, are immersed in the world of TV and movies. We enjoy them, we anticipate them. But, unlike many of you, you don't spend (waste) time on movie websites which provide news on various upcoming films from various studios, mostly focusing on "superhero" or "comic book" movies. It's for this reason that I was so emotionally disturbed and insulted by the piece of garbage that was X-Men: The Last Stand. I won't waste space on this website discussing it because I don't want to waste any more time on it than I have over the past couple months. It will make 200 futillion dollars this weekend no matter what but I don't want to waste any more of my brain's action potentials on that disaster. I won't talk about how it was such a rushed and shoddy job. I won't talk about how they utterly destroyed one of the most prolific stories in the history of comic books. I won't talk about the disrespect they showed to fans of the franchise by making this load of croc turd. I won't.

Some of you might ask why one should get so immersed in this world. What's the point? Why should I get so excited over pictures like these from the set of Spider-Man 3:

















I don't know. I guess I pass it off as a hobby, as a distraction, amidst the textbooks, notes and exams that typically inhabit my daily life. It's with the same enthusiasm that people obsess over the personal lives of celebrities. Celebrities like Paris Hilton. What did she wear last night? (A piece of masking tape and two oyster shells) Who's she sleeping with? (Los Angeles) Who really cares? (Way too many people)

Each year, Darwin Awards are "awarded" to people who are, well, stupid. It is for this basis, and this basis alone, that I nominate the demi-god of Hollywood, in Paris Hilton, to receive a Darwin Award. There are many reasons and incidents that justify this. First off, there's her just being a giant 'tard.
Paris Hilton made a potentially dangerous blunder at a party recently.

The hotel heiress, who had thrown a surprise birthday bash for boyfriend Stavros Niarchos, shocked guests by jumping into her pool after a garden light had fallen in.

"Everyone was stunned. Paris was lucky she didn't get electrocuted," a source told the Sunday Mirror. "She thought it was hilarious. Stavros jumped in next and accidentally knocked her on the head in the process."

Hilton later treated her guests to a pole dancing session.

The insider added, "Paris was so drunk she could barely hold on to the pole - let alone dance."

People get drunk on parties at all the time. But picture in your mind the series of events that led to a light falling in the pool, the syphillis-carrier jumping into said pool, said carrier not being electrocuted to death and then pole-dancing for the rest of the time.

Her neurological blunders also expand into the business side of her life. At E3 this year, the annual video game convention held in L.A, she was there to promote her new mobile phone game.
"Sorry I'm late. I'm really excited to have my new video game, 'Diamondquest.' Thank you all for coming, and you can download the game."

Not only does she say something totally moronic... and grammatically bizarre...but the damn game is called "Jewel Jam"...not "Diamondquest." Two strikes, sister.

Strike three comes again from her personal life. Her choices in her dating life are no doubt questionable. But the last offense come from pictures from a Polish website showing her dating a certain ex-Trojan football player. A certain number 10 draft pick. Dating a Trojan? The recent scandals involving football players and...females...is appealing to you? Fair enough. Time to write up your acceptance speech, because Paris Hilton, you just won the Darwin Award for Idiotic Celebrity of the Year.... but wait? What, ho? I'm sorry, Ms. Hilton, but it seems you have competition...



"This is why I need a gun." Maybe she isn't an incompetent mother. Maybe she's just homicidal. In any case, I do believe Ms. Spears deserves to receive the Darwin Award for Most Inept and Fertile Celebrity of the Year... but WAIT! The minions of Tom Cruise are on the prowl...



















Yes, the Scientologists. The people whose beliefs, according to Wikipedia, consist of the following:
  • A person is an immortal spiritual being (termed a thetan) who possesses a mind and a body.
  • Through the Scientology process of "auditing", one can free oneself of "engrams" and "implants" to reach the state of "Clear", and after that, the state of "Operating Thetan". Each state is said to represent recovering the native spiritual abilities of the individual, and to confer dramatic mental and physical benefits.
  • The thetan has lived through many past lives and will continue to live beyond the death of the body.
  • A person is basically good, but becomes "aberrated" by moments of pain and unconsciousness in his or her life.
  • What is true for you is what you have observed yourself. No beliefs should be forced as "true" on anyone. Thus, the tenets of Scientology are expected to be tested and seen to either be true or not by Scientology practitioners.
  • Psychiatry and psychology are evil and abusive.
Their ideas, to start with, aren't that crazy. I mean, I'd be much more comfortable believing in a form of reincarnation than some idealized, eternal afterlife. But then they come along out of nowhere with quips about psychiatry and psychlogy... and then there's Lord Xenu....

Ok fine, so they're fucking nuts. But it doesn't stop at them being crazy. When people like Tom Cruise start speaking publicly about subjects that he wasn't educated in, like psychology, and people listen to him, it is destructive. Of course I do agree that children shouldn't be strongly medicated as some of them are these days. It should be reserved as a last resort. For adults, however, this medication does save lives. There is science behind it... dumbass. So, for trying to alter the fabric of modern medicine on the basis of a Science Fiction author's fancifications in a fictional book, the Scientologists receive the Darwin Award for Ignorant and Imbecilic Group of Celebrities (and Non-Celebrities) of the Year.

Sure, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, but that's how they are. They're being their dumb selves. But the celebrity Scientologists, they're something else. They think their twisted religon is based on truth. If the Dianetics handbook was published into major motion picture, it might be entertaining. It might be as terrible as X-Men 3, but at least people would realize it was fiction.

Hey, it worked for The Bible.

Oh wait....

8:25 PM
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