The Jazzy Bahsoun

Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.

Behavioral Therapist
MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA

Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog

Movies to See:
Mission Impossible
Haywire
Shame
A Dangerous Method
Underworld:Awakening

TV Shows to Watch:
Portlandia
The Life & Times of Tim

Book to Read:
Game of Thrones
by George R.R. Martin

Album to Listen to:
The Black Keys
El Camino

Person to Hate:
Newt Gingrich

Group of People to Despise:
Fox & Friends

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Mary's Website

Mary's Blog

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Friday, December 16, 2005
I, Witness
On the way to my biology final tonight (let's not talk about it), I witnessed several typical Beverly Hills moments that I found memorable enough to share.

Driving down Wilshire, I passed the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences where they were holding the premiere of some new Jennifer Aniston movie. Cameras, carpets and limos abound but nothing too out of the ordinary. Further down, parked in front of Kate Mantilini's were 3 Hummer limos, in a row. I don't know if they were planning on seizing the territory but there was a bonafide black barrier in front of the place, small penises and all.

As stereotypes would have it, fate found me stopped at a long red light on Rodeo Dr. (I have to give credit to the city workers or planners or whoever of Beverly Hills for doing such a great job with the holiday decorations from Beverly Dr. to Santa Monica Blvd.) As I gazed to my right, up the Via Rodeo steps, I saw a nice couple gazing upon the breathtaking lights and then engaging in a public display of affection (P.D.A. for all you hip cats out there). As I looked closer (in a, uh, non-creepy manner), they seemed to be hovering back and forth. I finally realized why their bodies were moving so strangely as they were kissing: they were both riding Segway scooters. Now I've seen businessmen mosying around town on their little Segways, but only in Beverly Hills, on Rodeo Dr., would there be a couple, making out on those scooters. They didn't even get off the scooters to express their emotions to each other. Perhaps they wanted a challenge.

Just after witnessing this event, I looked to the driver in the car on my left as if to motion with my eyebrows, "Are you seeing this??" and I SWEAR it was Dr. Ruth staring back at me.... of course it could've been just another old lady. They all look the same after all.

As the light turned green and I shifted my attention back to the matter at hand, my biology final, I realized that upon failing the exam, I would probably not get into a good grad school, not get a respectable job and never be successful in life. I would then not make that much money in whatever career I settled for, therefore I wouldn't be able to live in Beverly Hills and make out with my wife/girlfriend on my Segway scooter, at my own volition.

Funny how the mind works.

Editor's Note: While searching for links to tantalize you, the precious viewer, in this post, I stumbled upon several sites with pictures of Rodeo Dr. and other such places. What are the ODDS that the Wikipedia listing about Beverly Hills would have a picture of my apartment building as the main picture?!!? I mean come ON.
5:16 AM
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