The Jazzy Bahsoun

Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.

Behavioral Therapist
MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA

Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog

Movies to See:
Mission Impossible
Haywire
Shame
A Dangerous Method
Underworld:Awakening

TV Shows to Watch:
Portlandia
The Life & Times of Tim

Book to Read:
Game of Thrones
by George R.R. Martin

Album to Listen to:
The Black Keys
El Camino

Person to Hate:
Newt Gingrich

Group of People to Despise:
Fox & Friends

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Mary's Website

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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Amazon.com Has Lost its Mind
As a college student in America, I have become proficient in the one practice shared by millions of college students everywhere: procrastination. One practice of procrastination that I utilize is the late night perusing of websites such as eBay (which I do not encourage) and Amazon. On Amazon.com, I like to look through what recommendations Amazon has for me based on what I said I own or what is on my wishlist. Recently, when browsing through these recommendations, I have noticed some startling trends in Amazon.com... namely the company has lost its mind.

Now some recommendations make complete sense.
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If I own the black Xbox controller, who's to say I won't like the green one. Well done, Amazon.

On the other hand, some recommendations can be a tad offensive.

Why I gotta like Nelly if I own a black Xbox controller?

Amazon.com is racist.
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I'm not saying that people who play Xbox would or wouldn't enjoy the hippity hop music. I'm just saying that I also put that I own the blue Xbox controller, but Amazon only bases these recommendations on my ownership of a black controller. Jesse Jackson, where are you?

From the bigoted comes the downright inappropriate.
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If Amazon was a parent, it would be sued for negligence. Why any child who is still at an age to be playing with Hug & Learn Baby Toad would also be allowed to play the mature, blood fest of Halo 2 is a mystery to me. That said, I love Halo 2 and would like to know how this amphibian could help me learn through the use of hugs... that's kinda twisted if you think about it.

And now the cream of the crop, the downright bizarre recommendations from Amazon.
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Ok I won't deny that fans of Lord of the Rings may or may not be geeks... and male. So why in the hell would they want a baking sheet? Perhaps to bake some lembas bread? Sorry.

And in the same vain as our froggy friend above....
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...why in the blue jesus would any self-respecting teen playing Halo 2 want a Lil Bratz Sno Fun Ski Lodge playset. This product, on top of being for ages 4 and up, but this DOLL HOUSE also contains the following: " The open-sided doll house can be re-arranged a number of ways, but no matter how it's designed, kids will love posing the dolls near all of the amenities. There's a toasty fireplace, a movie theater with a huge sound system, an arcade game, snack room (with tiny popcorn machine), and café. The lodge's dance floor also transforms into an ice-skating rink!" I mean maybe Master Chief is interested in some statutory rape action, but even so, it's not for the children.

And finally, where we had racist tips from the Xbox controller, we now have purely insane recommendations for Harry Potter fans everywhere.
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Ok I accept that there are many female Harry Potter fans out there, but of all the unholy products, why would a Paris Hilton Belly Bar (I still don't know what it does) be recommended to a fan of Harry Potter. It's an outrage, is what it is. If the Christians weren't already up in arms against Harry Potter, they've now brought in the National Guard.

To round out this "Amazon is Insane" segment, comes one final item recommended, again, for the Harry Potter fans out there.
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Perhaps Amazon is trying to tell us something. "Put down that blasphemous book and perform some manual labor for a change"? I don't know. But in any case, why would anyone pay $250 for a drill!? A DRILL! And does anyone else find it hilarious that the drill has a release date, as if people were lined up outside Loews on September 24 waiting for the stroke of midnight when they could purchase the Milwaukee 6514-21.

Moral: When you're procrastinating late at night, don't go on websites that have the potential to deplete your beer money... even if it is on a belly bar.
6:14 PM
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