The Jazzy Bahsoun

Life's our oyster and we're gonna suck that bitch down with a champagne chaser.

Behavioral Therapist
MA Developmental Psychology, Columbia
BS Psychobiology/ French, UCLA

Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog

Movies to See:
Mission Impossible
Haywire
Shame
A Dangerous Method
Underworld:Awakening

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Portlandia
The Life & Times of Tim

Book to Read:
Game of Thrones
by George R.R. Martin

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Monday, May 23, 2005
A Taste of Seamist
Inspired by a certain Mr. Dehar's query to a certain restaurant, I was decided to contact the makers of the best thing on earth: White Cranberry Juice with Peach. I wrote this letter while studying psychology last night (reading about ADHD.....I kid you not) and my study daze, I think, comes out in my wording...it's for the best though, I reckon.

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this email to basically compliment you on your fantastic product White Cranberry Juice with Peach. I discovered this juice a few weeks ago and I have to tell you, I haven't been the same since. In fact, I think I'm a better man because of the delectable drink. Not only is it refreshing and thirst quenching but the uncanny blend of white cranberry and peach is like none other. Now, I am still a fan of the regular White Cranberry Juice and White Cranberry with Strawberry Juice but it is the White Cranberry with Peach that has taken my heart.I also wanted to make a suggestion of other possible blends with white cranberry. Perhaps a tropical line of juices such as White Cranberry with Mango, White Cranberry with Guava or White Cranberry with Kiwi. This is just some food for thought (or juice for thought...as the case may be) Again, I commend you on a fantastic product and thank you very much.

Sincerely, Pasha Bahsoun

Now here is the somewhat underwhelming response from Gemelyn (what you get when a gremlin and a precious stone, mate) from Oceanspray consumer affairs. Although it is fairly professionally written, the response is a victim of standardized corporate responses, never giving detail or evoking emotion. Nonetheless, I'm glad they responded.

Dear Pasha:

Thank you for visiting us at www.oceanspray.com.

"Good for you, America" has been an Ocean Spray theme for many years. We truly stand behind this theme. Producing high quality food products is our primary goal. Your encouraging words let us know that we are accomplishing this.

Over the past several years, Ocean Spray has brought you many exciting new products. You can be sure that we will continue to develop new and innovative products to meet your needs!

We appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts with us, as it is always enjoyable to hear from consumers who enjoy our products. Please be assured that our Research & Development personnel keep up on new package and product variations that might further benefit our growers. You may be sure that every alternative is considered at some point. At this time there are no plans to market the product you suggested. We regret that our answer could not be more favorable.

If we can be of any further assistance, please feel free to e-mail us again or contact us by phone at 1-800-662-3263 Monday through Friday 9-4 EST. When responding, please reference the case number located at the bottom of this e-mail.

Thank you,
Gemelyn
Ocean Spray
Consumer Affairs

# 5,195,158

The basic purpose of my sharing of this experience is to convey the fact that it is best to contact large corporations when you're working on 5 hours of sleep and have been studying something for at least 16 hours. And I implore each and every one of you. White Cranberry Juice with Peach is here for you to enjoy, so indulge in this fine product.

Sweet, divine nectar of Olympus. How I praise you.
8:14 PM
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