Back in the day, when I would spend hours upon hours playing my beloved Sega Dreamcast, my favorite genre of game was the Role-Playing Game, or RPG for you hip geeks out there. Without going into too much detail, that type of game involves a lot of time investment and the collecting of items. One such item in many of those games was the Acai Berry. Along with the Dragon Berry and the Enigma Berry, I assumed these were creations of Japanese recluse gamers. However, as of late, the Acai Berry has emerged into reality and is invading multiple aspects of my life.
The Acai Berry appears in many energy and fruit drinks, namely Honest Ade and Pom Wonderful, as well as the horrifyingly bland Vitamin Water, claiming to be full of antioxidants. (Don't even get me started on antioxidants, the biggest dietary scam of the last decade.) The Acai Berry sounds harmless, even charming, enough, but seems more of a gimmick than anything, just like a drink being enhanced with electrolytes. However, the Acai Berry shows its pompous hyde in my Shampoo and Conditioners. I understand the corruption of the health drink industry, but my Herbal Essences too? And the worst offense of all, the spam emails promoting Acai Berry supplements and pills. But it was not the gratuitous use of this Brazilian invader that tipped me off to its poisonous fraud. It was Oprah, the endorser of all that is kitsch, trendy and faddy, publicly disavowed any association with the Acai Berry and has her lawyer goons on the case.
Consumers should be aware that Oprah Winfrey is not associated with nor does she endorse any açaí berry product or online solicitation of such products. Attorneys for Harpo are pursuing any companies that claim such an affiliation.
I believe that the fad of the Acai Berry will fade away soon enough, just like the Guarana craze of the mid-late 90s. Until then, I will try to make myself Acai-free because I don't possess any oxidants that I am particularly against, in my hair, nor in my digestive tract, therefore I don't require its alledged assistance. I'll just stick to my plain old rasp, black and blue varieties to level up, thank you very much.
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